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Imagine having to stand on a national stage and smile knowing not only that your teenage daughter is pregnant but that she plans to marry the punk that did it—the punk who refers to himself as a “f*cking redneck” that’ll “kick [your] ass” on his MySpace page. Oh, the poise one must maintain!

Levi Johnston, the adult male (reports conflict as to whether he’s 18 or 19) who impregnated Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter, has a MySpace page, so the rumor goes anyway. It’s a bit hard to find, but several news outfits have quoted it. No links are readily available and one report has it that the account has been set to private since news started breaking.

A search on the MySpace site brings back bupkiss. Ditto on Google. But according to numerous reports New York Post reveals:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

Someone should let Levi know there are ways to avoid having them that don’t involve magic or math.

Already someone has purchased LeviJohnston.com and has set up a spoof webpage with supposed blog entries. Don’t encourage them by visiting. They’ve set up AdSense ads at the top of a page reeking of opportunism.

At the end of this election cycle we’ll likely all need a good, hot shower.