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WARNING: The following contains names of Chinese language origins that have beautiful meanings in that language. At no time will we condone crass comparisons and/or puns noting their similarities to certain American English euphemisms or expressions. The same goes for obligatory references to a certain character in John Hughes's "Sixteen Candles," who was a Korean played by a Japanese actor anyway.

Woman Sues Apple Over Price Cuts

It's just too easy and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Dongmei Li*, a woman from Queens, New York, has enlisted C Jean Wang, of Wang Law Offices, to file suit against Apple for $1 million for "price discrimination, underselling, discrimination in rebates, deceptive actions and other wrongdoings."

The suit comes after Apple's much-fussed-about $200 iPhone price just 68 days after launch. As an early adopter, Li is claiming injury because of the price cut, as early adopters are unable to resell their phones “for the same profit as later purchasers.”

The suit also claims "market conditions did not require Apple to change its price," and that the exclusivity of Apple's deal with AT&T is unfair.

Apple and AT&T were quick to boast about the sales of iPhone soon after launch, and the public nicknamed it the "Jesus Phone" for the seeming paroxysmal ecstasy that accompanied it since it was unveiled six months before release.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs offered a compromise after the early-adopter uproar by offering a $100 discount toward the purchase of another Apple product. Ms. Li obviously thinks that's not enough.

As for the "market conditions" argument, Ms. Li's attorney will have to argue that in court, one would assume, as Apple's apparent motivation seemed to be the upcoming Christmas season and potentially stiff competition arises during that time period. Whether or not a holiday sales season qualifies as a market condition will be up to whomever decides the case.


^{*According to this website Dongmei means "winter + plum blossom," so stop being an insensitive jerk.}