The TSA Does Not Have A Game Plan For Large Penises
There are many men out there who wish they had a larger penis. That’s why there’s a huge market for natural supplements, pumps and a bizarre ritual involving eggs pickled in snake venom. Sometimes, having such a large specimen is not in the best interest of the parties involved. Such an event occurred last week.
Jonah Falcon, according to Wikipedia, is “an American actor and writer from New York City, who is known for this large penis.” You probably already know where this is going. Anyway, it seems that Falcon was due for a flight when a TSA officer stopped him due to a “massive bulge on his thigh.” Here’s how it all played out according to Falcon:
Am 30,000 feet in the air. Flight was delayed 2 hours and had an adventure with TSA.
TSA didn’t know what to make of the massive bulge on my thigh. Even after I went through that body scanner that shows you naked…
I finally had to verbally tell them it was not a cyst or growth. IT WAS MY DICK. (face palm)
It’s easy to understand the TSA agent’s initial suspicion in this case. It’s not everyday that you see a man whose penis is a reported 9.5 inches long when flaccid and 13.5 inches long when erect. I never really check the world records for this sort of thing, but it seems that Falcon has it in the bag.
So how will Falcon avoid having his penis impede his way through the airport lines next time? Speaking to the Huffington Post, he said that he’s “just gonna wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they’ll know.”