The TSA Does Not Have A Game Plan For Large Penises

    July 17, 2012
    Zach Walton
    Comments are off for this post.

There are many men out there who wish they had a larger penis. That’s why there’s a huge market for natural supplements, pumps and a bizarre ritual involving eggs pickled in snake venom. Sometimes, having such a large specimen is not in the best interest of the parties involved. Such an event occurred last week.

Jonah Falcon, according to Wikipedia, is “an American actor and writer from New York City, who is known for this large penis.” You probably already know where this is going. Anyway, it seems that Falcon was due for a flight when a TSA officer stopped him due to a “massive bulge on his thigh.” Here’s how it all played out according to Falcon:

It’s easy to understand the TSA agent’s initial suspicion in this case. It’s not everyday that you see a man whose penis is a reported 9.5 inches long when flaccid and 13.5 inches long when erect. I never really check the world records for this sort of thing, but it seems that Falcon has it in the bag.

So how will Falcon avoid having his penis impede his way through the airport lines next time? Speaking to the Huffington Post, he said that he’s “just gonna wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they’ll know.”

  • http://Bummer Ben Smith

    I was reading this story of Jonah Falcon and was disappointed. I was looking forward to see the pic’s. What gives? If i was the TSA agent i would have done a strip search, even tho i would of already known what the bulge was. I’m not a perv but i am gay and if a TSA agent i would probably have a boner all day. You just watch people naked in a scanner, or you can have a pat down. I would have somewhere in my mind would hope that he opted for the pat down. It may have to be upgraded to a strip search. You just cannot turn off your hormones when you are at work. We just don’t act in this manner. I would like the benefits tho.

  • Sally

    Im a white girl and just for my personal experience with blacks I would say all blackmen would have this issue with TSA subsequently, everyone knows black men have big bazooka’s or mandingo’s whatever you wanna call it lol

    • Phreekoid


      • El Capitan

        the fact that not any blacks are stopped says different sista! there’s another myth about the size of a girls ass and black guys!!!!

        • D.Hou

          You must have a small one huh???

    • Timahl

      Attention grabbing at it’s finest. Just keep an eye open for them STD’s you silly white girl.

      • Sue H

        That’s why they make extra large trojans. My man wears them.

    • angela

      My college anatomy professor was gay, claimed to have had over a thousand sexual encounters in his life with men of all ages and races. Additionally, in his 40 year career he dealth with hundreds of cadavers in his lab for the students. This man know subject better than most and he emphatically stated that large black penis issue is a myth, with black men having virtually same variances as non-blacks. A muscle attachment, the gonomaster, is looser in some black men, allowing penis to hang lower. I have no experience, since I would never have sex with a black man nor do I ever intend to.(same holds true for fat white & Hispanic men as well as men with red hair, so it’s not racial. Orientals,native Americans, non-fat whites & Hispanics, are OK.)

      • D.Hou

        You really are curious huh???

    • Mandy

      Dear Sally; You don’t have much experience do you? MANY white
      men could be stopped at TSA! Some Black men are big, some pitiful. Many are average. Same with White men! You need to check out a few more men. I must say, whatever White men may
      or may not have in size,,,, they make it up in skill and are the
      EXPERTS at Foreplay. They are affectionate. Black men may have
      a good size, but they don’t kiss, cuddle, and know nothing about
      FOREPLAY, and don’t want to know!!!! SO THERE!

  • Phreekoid

    Pity the guy’s such an ugly F**ker, he might actually be able to make some money out of this in the porn industry, *Thinks!!!* Damn, being an ugly F**ker never stopped anyone in the porn trade…

  • Michele R. Grant

    Not all black men are hung like a horse. Its a myth plain and simple. My husband is blessed and hes white.

    • Zach

      Was this suppose to be logic?

    • D.Hou

      Why are white people so hung up on the penis size of black men!!! Don’t worry about us woman!!!!

    • D.Hou

      Don’t worry about the size of our penis woman!!!!

  • http://dick@dickshalfwayinn.com Hugh Jardon

    If I had a wiener like that- every time I’d get a boner I’d probably faint. I imagine anyone who saw it would faint also.

  • Mika

    TSA error, bet the agent felt a prick!

  • Jacki Jam

    Falcon is a well known self seeking fantastist and despite his own self generated publicity there’s never been anyone who has categorically written to say they have seen or verified his size claims nor has he ever shown it or been photographed or filmed.

    I note this is a self generated bit of publicity (again)not backed up by any evidence from the TSA and not the first time he has played out this alleged ‘airport’ story..Titles imposed by magazines or media mean nothing, there is no official ‘contest’ for this particular claim…even if he is real he isn’t in all truth the ‘world’s largest’ just the world’s largest (and ugliest) exponent of unproven publicity on the topic.

    There’s a guy I’ve seen who goes regularly to Cap D’Agde each summer who has an endowment which knocks JF’s much rumoured 13 inches somewhat down the league table.