The Lorax, Shamrock Shakes, and Snooki’s Pregnant
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Snooki is pregnant omg, I bet she gives birth to a vodka bottle with hair extensions.
Dr. Seuss could’ve been the greatest rapper alive.
I hope Snooki doesn’t have problems delivering her baby. She’d hate to hear the doctor say “we have a little Situation here”.
“I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees. Unless I get paid, then I shill SUV’s.”
Snooki has confirmed she is “with child.” Your move, pro-lifers.
#ShamrockShake Finally! The entire nation can get Cancer and Diabetes in a single cup!
@Snooki has triplets… I really wanna get started on this chocolate factory.Really hoping that
#ShamrockShake is back. Don’t let your memory fool you into thinking you liked it America. You hated it.Oh fuck…
The Trix rabbit should just get himself some Honey Bunches of Oats, it’s a far superior cereal anyway.
Google’s new anti-privacy measures are so intrusive, it just informed me that I’m feeling lucky.
Hard to believe that Justin Bieber was born in Ontario 18 years ago today and nobody has sent a killer robot back in time to stop it.
Teach kids about irony by visiting a landfill exploding with promotional wrappers, circulars & bags decorated with “The Lorax.”
I made you in My image. The thing is, I’m an asshole.
Never set a goal that takes longer than you can stay sober.
Wow. This is the longest Oscars ever.