Thanksgiving, Turkeys, and Camouflage

    November 23, 2011
    Josh Wolford

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, in honor of the holiday, we have lot of tweets about Thanksgiving and Turkeys. There are a couple of other gems thrown in there as well.


Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Remember, every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer in eggnog. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Please give a round of applause for the people who stopped doing coke this week so they could enjoy dinner with family for Thanksgiving 15 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

It’s Thanksgiving, or as the Pilgrims called it, Occupy Someone Else’s Country. 20 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

#TheBestThingAboutThanksgiving: Impressing everyone by cutting the turkey with my lightsaber. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Getting stuffed #TheBestThingAboutThanksgiving 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Turkeys are like investigative journalism: sometimes you gotta shove a carrot up that ass. 1 minute ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

I’m not using Spotify. There’s no way I’m gonna let people know how many times a day I listen to Faith Evan’s “Love Like This Before.” 24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

“I raised 23 foster turkeys.” ~Michele Bachmann 32 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

Spent the night outside a camping supply store waiting for Black Friday. Wish I had a tent and sleeping bag. 54 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

“You mean I HAVE TO pardon it AND it’s not mentally retarded?!” – President Rick Perry on Thanksgiving 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I wasn’t paying attention and bought Diet Mountain Dew instead of good Mountain Dew #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

FYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn’t work. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Who do you think is more worried about tomorrow…..the turkeys or the Dolphins? 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto


Josh Wolford
Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf