The Autonomous Systems Labs in Zurich has decided to give us a taste of a future in which Santa’s workforce has been replaced by robots. It seems pretty innocuous until you get to the robotic reindeer. Never have I seen something so horrific. It makes the killer robotic reindeer in Futurama seem tame in comparison.

Ah, but of course, mere words can’t begin to describe the horror so check it out below:

I think we can all agree that Santa should stick to real reindeer moving forward. As for the elves, I don’t think anybody will miss them if robots end up replacing them all. Besides, they could get electrical engineering degrees and get jobs repairing the robots that replaced them.

[h/t: Mark Cummins]

“While we’ve been tracking Santa since 2004 with Google Earth, this year a team of dedicated Google Maps engineers built a new route algorithm to chart Santa’s journey around the world on Christmas Eve,” says Brian McClendon, VP of Google Maps and Google Earth. “On his sleigh, arguably the fastest airborne vehicle in the world, Santa whips from city to city delivering presents to millions of homes. You’ll be able to follow him on Google Maps and Google Earth, and get his stats starting at 2:00 a.m. PST Christmas Eve at google.com/santatracker.”

Google also has a new Chrome extension and an Android app for Santa tracking.

“Before Santa takes off on Christmas Eve, you can also use the extension to follow the countdown to his departure, play around with his blimp, elf bus, and write messages on a frosty browser window,” says Google Chrome developer Eric Bidelman.

And of course, you can follow the updates on Google+, Facebook or Twitter.

You can go to the Santa’s Village site to watch the countdown.

Google also lets you send personalized holiday phone calls from Santa to your friends and family with Google Voice. You can learn more about that here.

“I also made you a video,” says the wife before bumping phones with her departing husband. “But you probably shouldn’t watch it on the plane.”

Ow ow, right? Here’s that ad, for reference.

But now, Samsung has taken it too far with a Christmas-themed version of that ad that involves another, more famous couple. In the following ad, dubbed “Santa’s Work Trip,” Mrs. Claus informs Santa that she also made him a video that calls for discretion. Ah come on, Samsung.

Never has the phrase “coming down your chimney” sounded so wrong. And to sell a phone. For shame.

Search Engine Land reports that Bing is supplying the maps for NORAD’s Santa tracker this year. It replaces Google Maps which has powered the tracker since 2007. Microsoft is a big sponsor this year as well with prominent displays for not only Bing Maps, but Windows Azure as well, on the corporate sponsors page.

It doesn’t appear that Microsoft moseyed its way in and kicked Google out though. In a statement to Search Engine Land, a NORAD spokesperson said that it and Google “mutually agreed to go in new directions.” Microsoft saw a chance and moved in offering Bing Maps, Windows Azure cloud hosting and related services to power the Santa tracker.

That being said, Microsoft isn’t wasting its newfound spot at the forefront of one of the most popular holiday traditions in the US. On the official NORAD page for Santa tracker apps, the Windows Phone app is listed ahead of the iOS and Android apps. The Windows 8 app gets its own special area as well.

As for the actual Santa tracking service itself, not much is going to change. The only difference is that Bing Maps lacks the built-in 3D viewing experience that Google Earth offered. For that, you will have to use Cesium, a 3D earth app built on WebGL.

If the lack of Google Maps has you feeling blue, you can always remind yourself of a better time. A time when Google produced a search tips rap with the big man himself:

The site is once again in operation (for U.S. users).

This year, Google has also made it possible to call Santa from Gmail. Product marketing manager Trevor Claiborne says, “This year, Santa wants you to reach out to him (after all, reindeer are only so-so conversationalists). If you or your family members have a special request for Santa, you can call him right from Gmail* and leave him a message at his Google Voice number: 855-34-SANTA. Santa won’t be able to return messages himself—it’s a busy time of year for him—but he’s promised to keep us up to date on happenings in the North Pole day by day.

“Of course, Santa is never one to fall behind the technological times (word on the street is that Rudolph’s nose was recently upgraded to an energy-efficient LED),” he says. “So while the red suit may never go out of style, this year Santa has come up with an extra special way to spread the holiday cheer. But you’ll have to wait until it’s closer to Christmas to find out what it is.”

I wonder if that has anything to do with Google+. A Santa Hangout perhaps?

On a semi-related note, Google recently extended free calls (for the U.S. and Canada) from Gmail through 2012.

There are generally two camps when discussing this issue. One side makes the argument we need to include all forms of celebration and not let others feel left out, while the other side says they should lighten up. South Park has tackled this issue in one of my favorite episodes; masterfully stating that if we take out everything about this time of year which could potentially offend someone then we’re left with nothing.

Stephen Colbert, another Comedy Central staple has now voiced his opinion on the subject, the only way he knows how – with comedy, guns, and clips from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Enjoy.

Expanding on the video, I made a visit to the Scottsdale Arizona Gun Club website, to see if there’s more to the website and how they plan on getting into the spirit of the season. I wasn’t disappointed.

Here you can see the full ad for the “Holiday Picture With Santa & His Machine Guns!” special. Where you and your family can get a photo with Santa with a plethora of various guns. Personally, I’d want the mounted machine gun in my photo.

Not only can you get a photo taken with Santa, and an assault rifle, but they have a 12 Days of Christmas sale as well. Where you can get that special loved one their very own “Machine Gun Adventure“.

I hope everyone reading this has a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Hopefully you wake up on the morning of December 25th and receive everything you want, with some egg-nog and fun times with family as well. For those who are looking for that last minute gift idea for me, a grenade launcher attached M16 would really put me in the holiday spirit.

Users can visit sendacallfromsanta.com and choose from a number of options to send unique, often humorous , customized phone calls to anyone in the U.S. Users can also send the messages from Santa via email, Facebook and Twitter.

The Google Blog provides additional information. “If you or your kids have a special request or message for Santa, you can leave him a message at his Google Voice number: 855-34-SANTA. Although he’s too busy to return messages himself, you can always create one on his behalf at the Send a Call From Santa site.”

“And don’t forget—if you want to keep up with Santa as he travels around the globe delivering presents on Christmas Eve, you can track his journey on Google Maps, on Google Earth with the plug-in and on your mobile phone, too.”

Norad has been working with Google for several years by way of Google Maps and Google Earth. Last year, they started using Google Analytics as well. Google is now sharing a video of last year’s Santa tracking:

On the YouTube blog, Jeff Martin writes:

Oooh, it’s almost Christmas! And that means that Santa is about to leave his digs at the North Pole to embark upon his ’09 World Tour, placing presents under the trees of good little girls and boys all over the planet. Where will he be, and when will he make it to your house?

You can find the answer at www.noradsanta.org . You see, every year, NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, tracks Santa’s journey from the time he lifts off from his Arctic village to his final stop in Hawaii at the end of a looooooooong night. You can join the ride at Noradsanta.org or try m.noradsanta.org if you prefer to do your Santa tracking on a mobile phone. You’ll also want to subscribe to the NORAD Tracks Santa YouTube channel , which will contain videos of many of his stops around the world, all captured by NORAD’s Santa Cam network.

Check out the related articles below for our coverage of Santa tracking from years past. If you go to NORAD’s site, you can see a live countdown leading up to Santa’s flight.

Related Articles:

> Tracking Santa’s Web Analytics

> Google Teams With NORAD To Track Santa

> Google To Track Santa With NORAD

Microsoft added northpole@live.com last year to its Windows Live Messenger, which encouraged kids to connect directly to Santa. The program asks children what they want for Christmas and can respond to their requests.

The UK based, The Register reported that one of its readers discovered that a chat between Santa and his young nieces about eating pizza made Santa talk about oral sex. After turning down requests to eat pizza the bad Santa replied with, "You want me to eat what?!? It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else."

Microsoft admitted the problem and said, "Yesterday we received reports that the automated Santa Claus agent in Windows Live Messenger used inappropriate language. As soon as we were alerted we took steps to mitigate the issue, including removal of language from the agent’s automated script.

We were not completely satisfied with the result of these actions, and have decide to discontinue the automated Santa Claus agent."

Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn said the company was not aware that the Santa code included foul language and that the company did not believe it to be an employee prank.

At this point in the year, I’m more in the mood for a Santa tracker than American politics.  Still, choosing someone to run our country for four years is an undeniably important process, so it’s good to see Google paying some attention to the issue.

“[S]tay up-to-date on the latest campaign maps, news, videos and blog posts from the election trail,” encouraged Brittany Bohnet on the Google LatLong Blog.  “Add the gadget to your iGoogle homepage to follow the race.  You can choose the candidates you want to follow, or keep tabs on them all.”

Also, “Make sure to check out the maps tab of this gadget to view candidate event trails.  Try searching for your own city or state to see which presidential hopeful will be campaigning near you!”

Expect to see a lot more stuff like this coming from Google – it had an absolute overload of tools related to the Australia’s recent elections, and the company is, of course, based in the U.S.  Also, Bohnet’s title provides a clue; she probably wouldn’t be the Elections Project Manager if one gadget was the end of things.