If you haven’t, then you didn’t pay enough attention in Bible school (if you went). King Solomon said that (maybe pseudopigraphically; I’ll give you that one). Flip forward a few hundred pages in that book you’ve let get dusty and you’ll notice people have never been all that nice. The last guy that told us to be nice to each other got himself killed for it.

Ah, the Divine Irony.

Anyway, as I was saying, it seems to me the Internet might drill home long lost niceties, especially as more and more people get busted being jerks. Everybody’s got a camera phone these days, or a blog, or a MySpace profile.

Do you think these teachers would have behaved differently if they’d known their fiery tempers were about to be posted on YouTube? (Well, the one teacher seems aware he’s being recorded and waves; there’s always one.) Maybe they would have taken a deep breath before letting their frustrations get the best of them.

Maybe the CEO of Spirit Airlines wouldn’t have been quite so dismissive of customer dissatisfaction if he’d known his remarks would be plastered across the Internet.

Maybe "lazy alcoholic" drug-doing parents would shape up before their kid posted their dirty laundry on his blog. (I know, I know. That’s probably too optimistic – they’ll just keep their debauchery in another room or teach their kids about loose lips and sinking ships.)

On the bright side though, the Web makes for a nice place to fight back, giving the voiceless a real voice in the world. A community college chancellor tried to silence criticism by banning blogs on campus, only to get a lot more attention than he would have gotten if he’d just left it alone to scab over.

So, maybe…maybe there’s something to this idea that the Web will become some kind of societal regulator – either that or a 24/7 Jerry Springer episode. 

He didn’t slip quietly away, however, and instead addressed his critics head-on, making concessions here and there, but, for the most part, sticking to his guns. No, not his guns, because in his lengthy (and I mean lengthy) blog reply, O’Reilly pulled back from the Old West rhetoric.

This is about being civilized – a concept all but crushed beneath tonnage of words heavy with stone-faced anonymity. And sometimes, rather than gun-sticking, civility demands a more proper analogy, one that better embodies my imagining of O’Reilly in this aftermath, an old adage:

"Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes."

No doubt the roar, even a digital one, of collective dismissal is enough to spur the tremors. Bravo, Mr. O’Reilly.

The blog post centers on "Lessons Learned," and begins with an admission that the sheriff’s badge icon, an image intended to connote a voluntary ascription to a set of blogging morals, would actually convey heavy-handed blawg (word inspired by the self-titled "Blawgers") enforcement and "suppression of bad behavior rather than good behavior."

Besides that, sheriff’s badges are a bit regional as strictly American inamoratas.

These concessions, these reexaminations, are tempered soon after with a (civil) calling-out of Web-pioneer Jeff Jarvis for what O’Reilly felt was hypocritical commentary. Jarvis was critical of O’Reilly’s "Twinkie badges," asserting the non-necessity of signs pledging to be a good neighbor.

O’Reilly begs to differ:

A quick look at buzzmachine shows that Jeff does in fact have just such a "badge" on his site. In fact, he has two. It’s just that they are text badges rather than graphics. There’s one prominent link entitled Rules of Engagement that states "Any email sent to me can be quoted on the blog. No personal attacks, hate speech, bigotry, or seven dirty words in the comments or comments will be killed along with commenters." And there’s another one entitled About me /Disclosures that lists all of Jeff’s financial entanglements.

That’s at the heart of what he wants – a Chivalrous code among bloggers, a Hippocratic oath of sorts to uphold certain principles, a kind of Cyber-Masonic club, an Ichthus above the door.

And that, in a word, is noble.

In addition to the symbolic adherence of, forgive me, the Upright Bloggers Brigade, O’Reilly is calling for more careful moderation of comments from them – a dangerous line walked, to be sure.

Knee-jerk responders bemoan the implications for freedom of expression, imagining blog overlords (a bit grandiose, don’t you think?) picking and choosing what’s okay to talk about. Of course, it is their house, you may argue, and they can tolerate what they wish.

The other concern is liability. Bloggers are reluctant to edit comments because, according to some legal circles, any instance of editing is tantamount to responsibility for publishing of libelous statements that may appear from third parties.

But for O’Reilly, deleting comments isn’t about limits on speech, it’s about limits on "unpleasantness," turning the corner from the chivalrous to the downright dandy (in the Continental sense of the word – think of powdered wigs or, if you have the frame of reference, Christopher Walken’s Saturday Night Live creepozoid).

Then again, being from the South where manners are not just important, but nearly enforced, I sympathize with his notion of blogger etiquette, even if he gets sidewalk preachy about it:

If there’s one thing I’d love to come out of this discussion, it’s a greater commitment on the part of bloggers (and people who run other types of forums) not to tolerate behavior on the internet that they wouldn’t tolerate in the physical world. It’s ridiculous to accept on a blog or in a forum speech that would be seen as hooliganism or delinquency if practiced in a public space…

But I believe that civility is catching, and so is uncivility. If it’s tolerated, it gets worse.

The last time I heard a speech like that, it was in a Baptist church. O’Reilly’s words aren’t unrecognized, or unappreciated. I just have still have my doubts. But I also have more respect for, and understanding of, his position.

Think about it: Just because your reader can’t see you doesn’t give you the right to be rude, but there are millions of Net users who feel that it does. I’ve been called names I’d rather not repeat in polite company and have been replied to in ALL CAPS. I’m not deaf…. THERE’S REALLY NO NEED TO YELL.

I attribute this newfound sense of rudeness to the feeling of invisibility one gets while sitting behind the keyboard. I mean, would you really come up to me face to face and call me a “Jackass” when you can’t read simple directions on how to unsubscribe yourself from my ezine? I think not.

In this new digital age it appears we’ve taken everyday common courtesy and thrown it right out the window. Whatever happened to “please” and “thank you?” My mother, who taught me as a child to call all adults ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs.’ would have cardiac arrest over the emails I receive on a daily basis.

Remember the “Golden Rule?” “Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.” Translation: before you call someone names, swear at them, report them to Sp#m Cop or do any other annoying gesture, stop and think. Maybe you did subscribe to that ezine and just don’t remember. Try giving someone the benefit of the doubt before firing off an ugly email message that a real live breathing human being with feelings is going to read. Computers may not have feelings, but people do and there’s a person behind every email address and/ or website.

Here are the ‘Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts’ for online communication:

1) Don’t reply to someone in all caps; it’s equivalent to screaming at them.

2) If you receive a newsletter and can’t figure out how to unsubscribe, before threatening to sue or reporting the publisher for Sp@m, politely ask the publisher to be removed. Any ezine publisher worth his salt will be happy to oblige. We really don’t want to hold you captive.

3) Try to reply to all of your email messages within 48 hours. If not, many people get annoyed and will think you’re avoiding them.

4) If you publish an ezine make sure you place subscribe and unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every issue.

5) Don’t use foul language in an email; that will get you nowhere. If you’re upset about something, please state the problem clearly along with how you’d like to see the problem resolved.

6) If you visit a website and it’s not to your liking, don’t fire off a nasty email stating what a loser the site owner must be. Remember what your Mom use to say “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

7) Make sure every page of your website contains an email address to contact you. Please don’t make me fill out a long form just to ask you a simple question.

When replying to an email, keep the original message intact so the person you’re replying to knows what you’re talking about. Personally I receive over 300 messages a day, so I need to see your message in context — otherwise, I may not understand it.

9) If you buy or sell products/services online, make sure you’re using an online payment service like PayPal.com in order to move money around quickly. Don’t make snail mail your only payment option.

10) Pay your bills in a timely fashion. If you owe someone money online don’t make them send out 10 emails telling you your payment is overdue. Pay promptly.

So there you have it; my Top 10 rules for being more polite and less rude online. If you incorporate these tips into your daily Internet dealings you’ll find the Net a little warmer and a friendlier place to be.

There’s enough road rage in the world, so when traveling the information highway please remember that we’re all human. Your computer is just a tool used to communicate with others. Please be KIND to them!

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My mother took this part of her maternal job seriously, and my brother offered her countless opportunities to share her wisdom. Dinner table conversation was punctuated with “Richard, get your elbows off the table,” “Richard, don’t talk with food in your mouth,” “Richard, don’t chew the ice,” and other admonitions. I didn’t have a chance to make too many mealtime mistakes because Richard made them first, and I learned quickly.

The family dinner is a rarity today. Working parents, single- parent households and non-stop after-school activities have taken their toll on the evening hour when parents and children spent quality time together. It is difficult, if not impossible, to teach table manners and other civilized behaviors while the parent is maneuvering the SUV through heavy traffic and the children are using their fingers to eat dinner from a paper bag.

The result is that many people are reaching adulthood without a clue about good table manners. The recent college graduate and the rising executive are now facing the prospect of business meals with countless unanswered questions.

If you are worrying about which fork to use, how to conquer the cheese in the French onion soup or where to put your napkin, you can hardly concentrate on the business at hand.

Here are just a few tips from my latest publication, Table Manners That Sell: 85 Tips for Dining for Success, to help you be at ease during the business meal.

Playing the Role of the Host/Hostess:

1.Choose a restaurant where you know the food and service are good and the atmosphere is conducive to conducting business.

2.Make arrangements ahead of time to take care of the bill.

3.Confirm the time and place with your guest either the day before the meal or that day.

4.Give your guest the prime seat-the one with the view.

5.Make suggestions about what to order.

6.Wait until everyone has ordered before you begin discussing business.

Playing the Role of the Guest:

7.Ask your host for suggestions about what to order.

8.Stay in a moderate price range.

9.Remember that the person paying for the meal decides when to talk business.

10.Send a handwritten note the next day to thank your host.

A lot of business is conducted over meals. The way you handle yourself can determine your career—how far and how fast you climb the corporate ladder.

Don’t leave the details of your table manners to chance and risk losing the job, the promotion or the contract.

Lydia Ramsey, author of MANNERS THAT SELL, keynote speaker and seminar leader, is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol. To sign up for more FREE business etiquette tips, click here.