WebProNews » humor http://www.webpronews.com Breaking News in Tech, Search, Social, & Business Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:01:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Viral Videos: (R) Gay Marriage Speech, Course of the Force, & Moon Nazis http://www.webpronews.com/viral-videos-r-gay-marriage-speech-course-of-the-force-moon-nazis-2012-02 http://www.webpronews.com/viral-videos-r-gay-marriage-speech-course-of-the-force-moon-nazis-2012-02#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:35:53 +0000 John Vinson http://www.webpronews.com/?p=97351 A viral video is one that becomes popular through the process of Internet sharing, via social media, sharing sites, or good ‘ole email. Everyday we highlight some of the best that are currently viral and some that are trending that way.

Today’s videos feature a thin ice skating, a weatherman for the kids, and a Twisted f*****g Metal ad.

No matter your stance on the debate, you have to hand it to Rep. Maureen Walsh (R). Not only did she go against the tide of her party affiliation, but she delivered the most personal, heartfelt, and powerful speech I’ve seen from a politician concerning the topic of gay marriage. With a small bit of humor as well.

When you think of Star Wars nerds, the last thing you relate them to is an Olympic tradition. However, they’re stealing one to conduct a cool charitable event. May the force be with you…as you pass out from running 10 feet (hat tip to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog for the joke). If you want more details about the event, Zach Walton has a nice write-up

Sarah Palin vs. Moon Nazis, these are the kind of ideas we need more of Hollywood.

Hey there bud, you’re skating on…thin ice. (I’ll be here all evening, folks)

One of those videos where you hate the guy in it for the first 20 seconds, then he starts to grow on you, then you laugh at his Snoop Dogg needs an umbrella for the drizzle joke at the end.

So much going wrong in this video. First, the owner didn’t have the dog vaccinated for rabies and then you have a reporter getting directly in the face of a dog she doesn’t know. However, I love the look of reporters when they cut away from a segment that goes awkwardly wrong.

She prefers the plastic worms used as lures on fishing poles to actual gummie worms. At least there’s no sugar rush.

One of the greatest sounds you’ll ever hear in nature, sounds almost unnatural.

This is Twisted Metal…you f***er (Warning: NSFW – language)

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/viral-videos-r-gay-marriage-speech-course-of-the-force-moon-nazis-2012-02/feed 0 Ferris Bueller, Liam Neeson, and Wingdings http://www.webpronews.com/ferris-bueller-liam-neeson-and-wingdings-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/ferris-bueller-liam-neeson-and-wingdings-2012-01#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:08:02 +0000 Josh Wolford http://www.webpronews.com/?p=93105 Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzFor those who missed the Republican debate, there’s a great piece about it in the Book of Revelation. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@ChrisFranjola
Chris FranjolaFerris Bueller and Madonna at the Superbowl? Did NBC get that Delorean up to 85? 56 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto

@MurphyKeith
Keith MurphyIt’s almost noon. Does anyone have an update if Liam Neeson has punched a wolf right in the forehead yet? 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@DocShaner
Doc ShanerUp until about a week ago I thought The Grey was a Civil War movie. I wish they’d just called it “Liam Neeson punches all the wolves”. 25 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@beetommy
Thomas BarberHappy National Chocolate Cake Day? The other types of cake are feeling left out. I’ve just seen an emotional wedding cake. It was in tiers. 54 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@FauxJohnMadden
Faux John MaddenESPN execs somewhere: “Quick, how do we tie Tim Tebow to this Peyton Manning storyline?” 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head“God, when will they stop talking about all of this Peyton Manning stuff?” — Brett Favre 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKBET GINGRICH’S CURRENT MISTRESS WONDER WHEN SHE GET PROMOTE TO WIFE! 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsNone of my ex-girlfriends have gotten fat yet. #firstworldproblems 31 minutes ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

@Coastiefish
Matt SmithThe sound my computer makes when it’s logging off on a Friday is better than anything they play in the radio. 58 minutes ago via twicca · powered by @socialditto

@DamienFahey
Damien FaheyGary Busey speaks in Wingdings font. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@ahelvie
AndrewThis real estate agent is one handsome guy. No homeowner. 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@alexblagg
Alex BlaggThe cutest things are pug puppies, mixed-race babies, and hipsters working out at the gym. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@GreenishDuck
Zachary?“Let’s get this show on the road!” –suicidal thespian deer 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

@clarkekant
Clarke KantThe sentence “I never said he licked my asshole” has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word. 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@yoyoha
Josh HaraEvery time you scoop Ben & Jerry’s out of the container and into a bowl, God has a little chuckle. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/ferris-bueller-liam-neeson-and-wingdings-2012-01/feed 0 Fear Factor To Feature Donkey Semen Stunt: Twitter Reacts http://www.webpronews.com/fear-factor-to-feature-donkey-semen-stunt-twitter-reacts-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/fear-factor-to-feature-donkey-semen-stunt-twitter-reacts-2012-01#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:17:19 +0000 Billy Thomas http://www.webpronews.com/?p=92788 NBC executives are furious after the show Fear Factor recently revealed they would have contestants drink an entire beer mug of donkey semen with the addition of a hefty glass of donkey urine to finish. NBC was so upset, they nearly decided to remove the stunt altogether. In the stunt contestants would have to chug both the semen and the urine completely to move on to the next stunt.

According to one source the episode has been filmed and is set to air this coming monday, January 30th. It’s been reported that several contestants did, in fact, gulp down the gross substances.

Fear Factor has always had a wild reputation for sick and gross stunts; including eating cow brains, drinking animal blood, devouring insects and more, but with the addition of this insane stunt, the show really seems to be pushing the bar on the disgusting. How do you feel about such a stunt? do you find it revolting? Hilarious? Revoltingly hilarious? Let us know your opinion in the comments section.

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/fear-factor-to-feature-donkey-semen-stunt-twitter-reacts-2012-01/feed 9 The New Righthaven.com Has A Sense Of Humor http://www.webpronews.com/righthaven-sense-humor-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/righthaven-sense-humor-2012-01#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:17:12 +0000 Chris Crum http://www.webpronews.com/?p=92764 If you’ve followed the Righthaven saga at all, you probably know that the “copyright troll’s” domain was auctioned off as it struggled to pay court costs and fines.

The owners of the domain put up a message on the site promoting content creation and indicating that it will soon be opening up a hosting service “with backbone”. Discussing about how SOPA blackout day fades from view “but not from importance,” the message said:

Recent events and the pavlovian salivating of certain legislators upon hearing the fundraising dinner bell ringing from the Beverly Hills Hotel have certainly reminded us that the internet naming system is a serious choke point for any online enterprise. In selecting our partners we wanted to make sure we teamed up with a domain registrar and DNS host who had a history of treating third party requests skeptically, but respectfully. We wanted a partner who wouldn’t dissolve into incontinent fits and roll over on getting a call from United States Senator Joseph Lieberman’s office intern, for instance. We found that partner in Toronto based easyDNS. easyDNS has been providing clueful and spineful DNS and registry services since 1998. Their four-continent anycast DNS cluster fits the bill. Plus, easyDNS’ founder, Mark Jeftovic, is the essence of a spineful owner.

On a FAQ page, the new Righthaven.com says:

Righthaven, LLC is a United States based firm in the state of Nevada that amassed some notoriety for aggressively suing bloggers and internet forum commenters at the drop of a hat. In fact, they might fairly be counted among the “prolific litigants” we mentioned in our answer to the previous question.

Initially, we were merely casually interested observers in the legal wrangling that followed and eventually resulted in the auctioning off of the righthaven domain. Once we noticed that, however, we couldn’t resist acquiring it.

But anyway…we covered this yesterday, which led to the new Righthaven.com (going by the Twitter handle @righthavened) sending us the following tweets:

@righthavened
Righthaven.comMr. Crum: Your use of our content here: http://t.co/HQa2ALsk is clearly infringing. We demand its immediate removal. @CCrum237 #righthaven 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@righthavened
Righthaven.comAlso, we demand you promptly tender title to a Marbella villa and deliver three large Sushi platters to our dev team. @CCrum237 #righthaven 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@righthavened
Righthaven.comMake sure to include extra spider rolls as well. Hypatia loves those. You have until 3pmCET before we file sushi suit. @CCrum237 #righthaven 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

We’re not the only ones they’re having fun with. Here’s one referencing some coverage on TechDirt:

@righthavened
Righthaven.comNew Righthaven to acquire TechDirt, rebrand it as robot porn hub. http://t.co/8HXiQbRi “…every time I board a plane” @mmasnick #rigthhaven 11 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

The humor continues on the new Righthaven.com blog, with a post defining “righthavened”. The definition goes:

right·havened, v.

raɪtˈheɪv(ə)nd

past participle, past tense of right·haven (verb)

1. trans. To turn the tables on.
2. To inflict total karmic defeat upon, especially by means of an opponent’s purported strengths.
3. To reclaim a maligning term and adopt it as a banner.
4. @righthavened; see: Twitter

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/righthaven-sense-humor-2012-01/feed 0 Pat Sajak, Bubble Wrap, and Woody Allen Horror Movies http://www.webpronews.com/pat-sajak-bubble-wrap-and-woody-allen-horror-movies-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/pat-sajak-bubble-wrap-and-woody-allen-horror-movies-2012-01#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:07:37 +0000 Josh Wolford http://www.webpronews.com/?p=92670 Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, Twitter was aflutter with a wide range of topics, including Pat Sajak’s shocking revelation, and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s shocking finger wave. We also participate in the trending hashtag #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies.

Enjoy!

@Tom_Bergeron
Tom BergeronPat Sajak cops to being behind the Wheel (of Fortune) while intoxicated. So what? For 6 years I hosted Hollywood Squares with no pants. 17 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@briandunkleman
brian dunklemanPat Sajak admits to hosting Wheel of Fortune while intoxicated. Big deal, I hosted an entire season of Idol without a soul 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto

@drewtoothpaste
drewtoothpasteMillions of people drink at work and Pat Sajak is the only one to get a news story. Looks like the 99% loses again. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@TheOnion
The Onion“Joe Paterno gave me a place where I could reach my full potential.” – Jerry Sandusky http://t.co/yLE7wwa5 22 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

@theharryshearer
Harry ShearerTo honor the memory of Joe Paterno, Jerry Sandusky observed a minute of silent horsing around in the shower. 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@bsgross606
Brad GrossIf Red Bull #GivesYouWings, Adderall is at least a jetpack 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@randiradio
Randi RhodesJan Brewer: “I hope [Obama] takes some of the lessons of Arizona back with him to Washington.” Yeah, like more funding for mental health. 45 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@YourFavWhiteGal
jac of all trades. Pat Sajak admits to hosting Wheel of Fortune drunk. Pretty soon Vanna White will admit to never sitting next to Nelly on an airplane. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@MlTTR0MNEY
Willard Mitt RomneyThat Jan Brewer is a card. Someone put their finger in my face once. I fired him then ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@DCdebbie
DC DebbieWhen “Jan Brewer” trends on twitter, I usually guess she’s either found headless bodies or is doing something racist or both. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@truthncomedy
TruthnComedy™We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap. 40 minutes ago via LaterBro.com · powered by @socialditto

@mileskahn
mileskahnYou Will Meet a Tall Dark Strangler #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 52 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@pstoneharris
Phillip S HarrisAnnie Holocaust #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 28 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@mbizar
Michael BizarHannah and Her Fisters #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 7 minutes ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto

@alexblagg
Alex BlaggNow can we all finally agree that “Sajacked” is the best possible euphemism for getting wasted? 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@thesulk
Alec SulkinOn behalf of Neil Young I’d like to declare total victory over Lynyrd Skynyrd. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

[Lead Image Courtesy LA TImes]

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/pat-sajak-bubble-wrap-and-woody-allen-horror-movies-2012-01/feed 0 The State Of The Union, Thug Life, and Skylights http://www.webpronews.com/the-state-of-the-union-thug-life-and-skylights-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/the-state-of-the-union-thug-life-and-skylights-2012-01#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:46:48 +0000 Josh Wolford http://www.webpronews.com/?p=92275 Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, the Twitterverse is buzzing about all aspects of Tuesday’s State of the Union address. We also find some funny tweets from McDonald’s failed #LittleThings Twitter hashtag campaign. Oh yeah, and Rihanna tattooed “Thug Life” on her hands.

Enjoy!

@JohnBoy
JOHN BOY YaBOY™After seein Rihanna get “Thug Life” tatted on her knuckles, i think we all owe Chris Brown an apology. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@dpicco
dpiccoThe stomach pain it causes almost never develops into diarrhea. #LittleThings 22 minutes ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto

@mrLdavis
LeTroy GodashianWayment. Rihanna got a thug life tattoo in pink? Tupac didnt die on the cross for that. 36 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@ScottChernoff
Scott ChernoffTrending today in the United States: Navy Seals, Thug Life, Cheese Quesadilla. President Obama was right – the state of our union IS strong. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@JosephScrimshaw
Joseph ScrimshawLast night’s dream: Obama’s joke writers were posted at the borders, doing stand up to deter people from entering America. 5 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@VanityFair
VANITY FAIRDo you think if Obama said really quickly, “Everyonebutericcantorclap,” it would trick Eric Cantor into clapping? 18 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@JShahryar
Josh ShahryarIt’s settled. Eric Cantor is of House Slytherin. #SotU 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@half__ro
HalfroI’m sick of finding uidentifiable #littlethings in my burgers and fries 29 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@realjeffreyross
Jeffrey RossNever realized John Boehner is Mexican. He has a better tan than the Secretary of Agriculture who is outside all day #SOTU 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@JoeMande
Joe MandeWatch John Boehner and imagine that he’s discretely using a fleshlight. It’s hilarious. #SOTU 18 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@God_Damn_Batman
The BatmanEver walk through a museum and think, “man, could I make a hell of an entrance through that skylight.” 2 minutes ago via Batcomputer · powered by @socialditto

@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyI use Facebook to show my friends that I don’t need to be married or have children to be unhappy. 11 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@yoyoha
Josh Hara“Not all Germans were mean” – Schindler’s List in tweet form 21 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzObama vs. Gingrich would be like Seal Team Six vs. Beached Whale One. 30 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNRoger Goodell extends his contract by 5 years, or as James Harrison measures it, $900,000 in fines. 38 minutes ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/the-state-of-the-union-thug-life-and-skylights-2012-01/feed 1 Steven Tyler National Anthem Draws Blasting From Twitterverse http://www.webpronews.com/steven-tyler-national-anthem-draws-blasting-from-twitterverse-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/steven-tyler-national-anthem-draws-blasting-from-twitterverse-2012-01#comments Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:51:01 +0000 Chris Crum http://www.webpronews.com/?p=91291 Aerosmith frontman and American Idol judge Steven Tyler sang the national anthem ahead of the AFC Championship game between the New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens today.

Twitter has been pouring jokes and criticism about it. Enjoy.

@FauxJohnMadden
Faux John MaddenBREAKING – Steven Tyler just informed that he will not be advancing to the second round of American Idol. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@Justin_Holliday
Justin HollidaySteven Tyler was absolutly horrible singing the National Anthem earlier 1 minute ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto

@derekozzy
Derek OsmanFirst off, I’m NOT watching football. I only saw the very beginning.. Steven Tyler did kill the national anthem, but remember.. He’s like 70 47 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@jerees
J.R.Those surprised Steven Tyler butchered the National Anthem today must have missed the hatchet job he did on it that year at the Indy 500. 3 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@dsaffo1
SaffoSteven Tyler should not be allowed to sing ever 4 minutes ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto

@Jonnie_W
Jonnie WethingtonIf you think that Steven Tyler’s anthem was the worst ever, you obviously haven’t seen this- I give you Carl Lewis: http://t.co/H4QTbA6v 1 minute ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@TomBradysEgo
TomBradys’EgoI hope Drew Beldsoe keeps his daughters away from Steven Tyler. 14 minutes ago via Seesmic · powered by @socialditto

@TheSportsHernia
Sports HerniaIs Steven Tyler sitting in Bob Kraft’s suite? I bet some people will mistake him for Janice Dickinson’s eccentric mother. 23 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Perhaps Tyler was out of his element with the national anthem. I bet he would have nailed this today:

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/steven-tyler-national-anthem-draws-blasting-from-twitterverse-2012-01/feed 0 xkcd Protests SOPA With Personal Message http://www.webpronews.com/xkcd-sopa-personal-message-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/xkcd-sopa-personal-message-2012-01#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:50:48 +0000 Zach Walton http://www.webpronews.com/?p=90153 Popular stick-figure humor webcomic xkcd has joined the blackout to protest SOPA with a comic/personal message.

The web site today is featuring a black bar with the words “[don’t censor the web].”

Randall Munroe, the site’s creator, says, “I make my living drawing xkcd, which wouldn’t have been possible if people hadn’t been able to freely share my comics with each other all over the internet. As a copyright holder and small business owner, I oppose SOPA and PIPA.”

It’s important to note that webcomics are one of the industries that popped up with the emergence and proliferation of the Internet. As Munroe points out, they became popular and a lucrative business with the sharing of their work. That’s what the Internet is for and that’s why people like Munroe are fighting it.

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/xkcd-sopa-personal-message-2012-01/feed 1 Paula Deen, SOPA, and NBA Jam http://www.webpronews.com/paula-deen-sopa-and-nba-jam-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/paula-deen-sopa-and-nba-jam-2012-01#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:14:10 +0000 Josh Wolford http://www.webpronews.com/?p=89999 Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

@PeterHoare
Peter HoareHappy 90th birthday to Betty White, winner of Survivor: Golden Girls. 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@joshtpm
Josh MarshallGoogle plans to protest SOPA by having Bing go dark for three days. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@StephenAtHome
Stephen ColbertWikipedia will go dark in protest of SOPA. Now where am I supposed to find inaccurate information about SOPA? 4 hours ago via SocialOomph · powered by @socialditto

@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzI want Mitt Romney to produce a certificate proving that he was manufactured in this country. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@evgenymorozov
Evgeny MorozovHypothesis: It would take an Angry Birds blackout to defeat SOPA 4 hours ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto

@abobrow
Andy BobrowMy fear is that once Wikipedia goes black, it will never go back. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@paulapoundstone
Paula PoundstoneSantorum says he doesn’t believe in contraception, but then he wears that sweater vest. 16 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@Hadzilla
Jeffrey HadzPlaying NBA Jam means something completely different to the Kardashian sisters. 59 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsI change the song before it’s finished so my iTunes total plays counter is incorrect. #firstworldproblems 4 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

@yoyoha
Josh HaraIf watching The Bachelor has taught me anything, it’s that watching women cry is far more entertaining when you have nothing to do with it. 17 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@RuthBourdain
Ruth BourdainPaula Deen’s diabetes can be a powerful teachable moment about how to turn a diagnosis into a multimillion dollar drug endorsement deal. 6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@chrisilluminati
Chris IlluminatiSending well wishes out to Paula Deen. Get Butter Soon. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@RandyRainbow
Randy RainbowPaula Deen revealed this morning that she has diabetes. In related shocking news, Lindsay Lohan revealed that she has a hangover. 5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@NotesForGirls
NotesF♥rGirls™if the world dosen’t end on December, 21st 2012, I have a feeling a lot of babies will be born on September 20th, 2013. 4 hours ago via Twuffer · powered by @socialditto

@meganamram
Megan AmramI hate bleeding for five days straight every month or so. Flossing is the WORST. 13 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

[Image Courtesy]

]]> http://www.webpronews.com/paula-deen-sopa-and-nba-jam-2012-01/feed 1 MLK, Jon Huntsman, and Horcruxes http://www.webpronews.com/mlk-jon-huntsman-and-horcruxes-2012-01 http://www.webpronews.com/mlk-jon-huntsman-and-horcruxes-2012-01#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:39:08 +0000 Josh Wolford http://www.webpronews.com/?p=89667 Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

@kristenschaaled
Kristen SchaalI know 2 Globes that didn’t show up: Ricky Gervais’ BALLS! Not rude enough! #goldenglobes 17 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@_Snape_
Professor SnapeI wonder how many Horcruxes Madonna has. 19 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@cst_Cowley
cst_CowleyTruly sad thing about being a Packers fan today for most? With your team now done, all you have is the realization you live in Green Bay. 1 hour ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto

@funnyordie
Funny Or DieHappy MLK Day! Reflect on how far we’ve come as a human race. Or just watch Netflix & take a nap. Both good ways to spend a Monday off. 10 minutes ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

@kathrynlopez
Kathryn Jean Lopezi won’t believe Jon Huntsman is endorsing Mitt Romney until I hear it in Mandarin. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@Rickonia
Rick The Ruler Morgan Freeman was born at the age of 48 18 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@hipstermermaid
braden graeber“I have a dream that one day I’ll be misquoted on twitter.” – MLK 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@DamienFahey
Damien Fahey“I have a dream…that one day people will take 7 seconds out of their lives to cut and paste one of my quotes into their status updates.” 2 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy school banned girls from wearing yoga pants. #FirstWorldProblems 26 minutes ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

@thesulk
Alec SulkinThe fact that two Saudis with the same name were at the party was Amir coincidence. 36 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@GuyEndoreKaiser
Guy Endore-KaiserIf you’re enjoying this day off from work, please take a moment to thank all of our super racist ancestors who made it possible. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@SamGrittner
Sam Grittner“Stop hanging your clothes on me you dirty jew!” – Closet Racist 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@BorowitzReport
Andy Borowitz“Wait, which one was Huntsman?” — Rick Perry 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@hodgman
hodgmanI wonder how many times have people without vaginas accidentally texted “Off to the gyn” instead of “off to the gym?” 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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