Really. Researchers at Chicago University’s Booth Business School are publishing a study that states Twitter is harder to resist than those two controlled substances. One researcher asserts that the social media site “may be comparatively harder to resist because of their high availability and also because it feels like it does not ‘cost much’ to engage these activities.”

I suppose arguing that Twitter irresistibility is owed to the fact that it doesn’t “cost much” is fair because, after all, using Twitter will negatively impact your life a lot less than, say, cirrhosis or lung cancer. By that metric, though, Twitter is harder to resist than lots of other things. Let us ponder a moment and compare the urge to tweet to other urges. Like a fill in the blank game: ‘Twitter is harder to resist than ______________.” My offerings:

What an easy game to play.

Sorry, Chicago Business school, but this sounds like science for the junk yard. Twitter’s not going to kill anybody and so, as long as Tweeters aren’t making anybody’s life inconvenient with their habit, who cares if it’s harder to resist than booze and smokes. I don’t have any tactful way to say it other than that. Since we’re talking about alcohol, cigarettes, and Twitter in the same context, here are some recent tweets from Drunk Hulk and Nick Nolte’s Mugshot that I think are pretty fun.

Say hello to the cleverly titled BreathalEyes, a new app for the iPhone that scans a person’s eyes to see if they are too drunk to drive. The official Web site for the app says that BreathalEyes can “approximate an intoxicated individual’s blood alcohol content, anytime and anywhere.”

The app uses new technology that can scan the eyes to “detect and analyze Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus” which is a sign of drunkenness. The technology is based on 40 years of public and private testing. It has an effective range of 0.02 percent to 0.17 percent BAC.

The app is listed as being “for entertainment purposes only.” They remind users that everybody reacts differently to alcohol and that the test results are for reference only. The results may be affected by high altitude or medications.

In tests run by the app developer, they found that their app and a breathalyzer come to almost the same result.

Any potential drunk needs a designated tester to use the app on them as it requires a steady hand and decent lighting.

The app is available now for iPhone 4 and later for $0.99. An Android version is expected later this year.

Now the real challenge is convincing the drunk to hand over their keys. Maybe somebody will make an app for that one day.

The victim, Christina Jungkans was reportedly attempting to make a left hand turn from an adjacent street at the time of the collision.

The subsequent trial found Maciaszek guilty of reckless homicide however, the prosecuting attorney requested the presiding judge put sentencing on hold until the defendants Facebook posts could be reviewed. Apparently there is something suspicious contained in the posts.

According to Maciaszek, he was suffering from great depression and insomnia at the time of the accident. His lack of sleep and focus is what he attributes to the tragedy. The county prosecutor has not yet released what the nature of the Facebook posts were or how they contradict the defendants testimony but, there are rumors that alcohol could have been involved despite the fact that tests revealed he was not intoxicated at the time of the accident.

Jungkan’s family and friends are devostated by the sudden accident and death of the young girl. Jungkans made plans to be a judge advocate general lawyer after joining ROTC in high school and her friends report that she was always trying to make them better people.

It is still not clear what role the Facebook posts will play in the sentencing of the offender but the case will be before a judge again wednesday.

[Source: Herald News SunTimes

One thing that hasn’t made sense until now is why exactly this year set stage for a year of pocket-burning sales records. People have always purchased more whenever there are sales, free shipping is nothing new, and honestly that Amazon Price Check app just streamlined what people were already doing on their own. So what was different about this year, especially since the United States is supposedly still recessed/depressed, that made people spend more money than ever before?

The answer is two-fold. First, more and more people are using the Internet for fun. Buying things – whether for yourself or as gifts for other people – is fun. Fun Internets + fun shopping = good times. And when people are having good times, they’re probably more likely to worry less about spending a little extra money. Plus, shopping online is so ridiculously easy that there should be an equivalent to Google Mail Googles sometimes just to double-check some of those questionable purchases people may be making.

The second part regards the amount of leisure and free time that online shopping offers consumers. It obviates so much of the stress incurred from shopping for Christmas gifts that the practice of online shopping might as well be a yoga monastery when compared to the infernal struggles of shopping in box stores during the holidays. In other words, it’s nice to have some free time and peace of mind. Some people, as you can imagine, may even be given to taking advantage of this newfound free time by enjoying some festive spirits. In fact, that’s exactly what happens. And as inhibitions are bound to ebb and vanish when one enjoys a strong drink, so go the inhibitions that say, “Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t buy that just yet.” Just as good times make it a little easier to justify added expenses, so then does a mind choose to ignore those same expense once it is dampened with alcohol. In fact, people can’t race to the bottom of a glass and then click the check-out button fast enough. Online shopping is already tempting enough when a person is completely in charge of their mental faculties, so dousing that decision-making lobe of your brain with a steady splash of alcohol can only increase the ease of buying things from websites. The New York Times picked up the scent of these boozy shoppers:

“Post-bar, inhibitions can be impacted, and that can cause shopping, and hopefully healthy impulse buying,” said Andy Page, the president of Gilt Groupe, an online retailer that is adding more sales starting at 9 p.m. to respond to high traffic then — perhaps some of it by shoppers under the influence.

And in case you winced when you read that certain online retailers are catering (i.e., taking advantage) of inebriated online shoppers, you shouldn’t. These retailers know exactly what they’re doing.

On eBay, the busiest time of day is from 6:30 to 10:30 in each time zone. Asked if drinking might be a factor, Steve Yankovich, vice president for mobile for eBay, said, “Absolutely.” He added: “I mean, if you think about what most people do when they get home from work in the evening, it’s decompression time. The consumer’s in a good mood.”

It feels predatory that online retailers would customize their sales to entrap drunk potential shoppers but, at the same time, not surprising at all. I’m just glad that most of my purchases made from within a cloud of alcohol haziness are usually pizzas and then other pizzas. Do you think online retailers should be tailoring some sales to target people who might be potentially shopping while under the influence? Or is it kind of a sleazy practice (really, though, what isn’t these days)? Let us know in your comments below.

In Illinois, Michael Alan Skopec, 48, was arrested after placing five calls to 911 complaining that his iPhone wasn’t working. Officers were dispatched to Skopec’s house after he repeatedly used the emergency service to report his broken Apple device. Once they were there, they arrested him for “refusing to comply with orders from deputies,” according to The Smoking Gun.

In a shocking development, the Sheriff’s Office says that alcohol was involved.

Because Mr. Skopec decided to get hammered drunk and try to work his iPhone, we the public are given the gift of the 911 tapes. And boy, are they great. Not only are they great because Skopec is such an idiot, but it shows just how patient 911 operators can be in the face of someone who is obviously wasting their time. Amazing. (NSFW)

Favorite exchange:

All-too-patient-operator: Do you have an emergency?

Drunk idiot: My emergency is my f*cking phone don’t work.

All-too-patient-operator: OK, what’s your address?

Drunk idiot: 1-0-blahbluh-blah-blo-blah blah blah-blah, ok you understand that?

All-too-patient-operator: No sir, I did not understand that.

There are so many questions that we will never know – mainly what phone was he calling 911 from? Maybe some of his apps weren’t working, and that was the problem. Oh well, thanks Mr. Skopec for making my day.

BONUS: How could I even talk about 911 calls without giving you the cop who thinks he OD’ed on pot? This version is animated, for your pleasure:

[Lead Image courtesy of Gawker]

Over two years ago, Google revised its alcohol policy from not allowing alcohol ads to begin permitting beer, champagne, and wine ads. A couple months later the company revised its policy again to allow the promotion of hard liquors and liqueurs. Now Google has revised it once again. 

"Since then, hard alcohol advertisers have been able to promote websites that offer information about their brand, their products, or drinks that can be made with their products," explains Dan Friedman of Google’s Inside AdWords crew. "Now, they can also promote websites that sell hard alcohol online, direct users to retailers where their products are sold, or feature sales promotions."

"To comply with the policy, the ad and website must abide by certain advertising restrictions, including (but not limited to) not targeting minors, not implying that drinking alcohol provides certain advantages, and not showing inappropriate content," adds Friedman. "They are also subject to any further restrictions in the countries that they target."

The exact criteria are:

- do not target minors

- do not contain sexual content

Google says it made the changes simply to "help more advertisers use AdWords for the promotion of their products."

The site, Rethinking Drinking, offers evidence-based information about risky drinking patterns, the alcohol content of drinks, and the signs of an alcohol problem, along with information about medications and other resources to help people who chose to cut back or quit drinking.

Rethinking Drinking offers features such as drink calorie calculator, information on how many drinks are in a bottle of wine and strategies for cutting down or quitting.

"About 3 in 10 U.S. adults drink at levels that elevate their risk for alcoholism, liver disease, and a diverse array of other physical, mental health, and social problems. Yet, many people give little thought to their drinking habits and the attendant risks," said NIH Acting Director Raynard S. Kington, M.D.

"These new materials remind all of us to think about how alcohol may be affecting our health."

Based on results of a NIAA survey of 43,000 U.S. adults, Rethinking Drinking offers single-day and weekly low-risk limits for men and women. For men the limits are no more than four drinks on any single day and 14 drinks per week.

For women the limits are no more than three drinks on any day and seven per week. For people who exceed these limits, about 1 in 4 already has alcoholism or alcohol abuse, and the rest are at increased risk for these and other problems.

"We know that many heavy drinkers are able to change on their own," said Mark Willenbring, M.D., director of NIAAA’s Division of Treatment and Recovery Research. "Rethinking Drinking is a convenient, low-cost way to provide the required information and tools for those able to change before they develop symptoms."

"People who have more severe alcohol involvement will require professional help, and starting with Rethinking Drinking may help them make the decision to seek help at an earlier stage in the disease process. We think Rethinking Drinking will be used in many different settings, such as doctor’s offices, colleges, workplaces, the criminal justice system and pastoral counseling."

Still, they would not permit ads for hard liquors and liqueurs. Now, even that has changed, although there are still some guidelines in tact.Amanda Kelly of the Inside AdWords crew writes:

To comply with the updated hard alcohol and liqueurs policy, advertisers must promote the information about hard alcohol and liqueurs that their websites contain, such as recipes and brand messages. Ads that directly promote the sale of hard alcohol and liqueurs are still not permissible through our program. In contrast, advertisements for beer may directly promote its sale.

For example, under the hard alcohol and liqueurs policy, you might market to individuals searching for helpful and relevant alcohol-related information by promoting holiday cocktail ideas or the caloric content of popular spiked beverages. Under the beer policy, you might state a specific sales promotion for a great winter ale.

Direct sale alcohol ads still seem to be  no problem when it comes to Google Checkout. This was reported on back in May, and so far nothing seems to have changed in that department.

Anyhow, the liquor business has scored a nice new advertising venue with the search giant, and at a time when many businesses need all the sales they can get.

The company says it will use its Demographic Restriction feature to manage the way alcoholic content appears to its users. Facebook’s restriction technology is based on a combination of what information a user has entered and verified on the site along with IP targeting by location.

Facebook says that beginning January 6, 2009 it will require that all content related to alcoholic beverage including unbranded, generic drink images be available only under its Demographic Restriction feature.

The company first announced its Demographic Restriction feature in August and said it has made several improvements since its launch.

Facebook explains on its developer blog. "First, we have modified the age and location parameters for the API method. Whereas previously, you had to set the same age restrictions across all countries in the location parameter, you now have the ability to set specific age restrictions for different countries. This gives you the ability to vary the restrictions across different locations for even greater flexibility."

Facebook has also introduced a new parameter called "type." "Type is basically a combination of pre-set age and location parameters that act as if you had manually entered the full itemized list of restrictions for what we believe to be the alcohol content requirements for almost every country in the world. If you wish, your application can then use the ‘alcohol’ type instead of manually setting each age for each individual country."
 

The ads – which have been given a "Non-FamilySafe status" – are popping up all over related results pages.  Ads for hard alcohol and liqueurs are not – they’re still banned.   

 Wine Ads On Google

Still, the policy adjustment is a rather huge step.  It comes not long after Google began allowing gambling ads in the UK, and so it seems that a new air of permissiveness is making its way through the corporation.

Or a touch of greed, at least.  It’s almost hard to imagine how many advertisers have been wanting to promote these products and services, and with the economy getting tough, Google might be relaxing its standards.

Anyway, a hat tip goes to Taylor Pratt, and we’ll keep an eye out for more policy changes.  Lastly, good luck if you haven’t yet located any pumpkin ale.