Stevie Nicks and her Fleetwood Mac bandmates have had their share of drama and relationships–a lot of which has been made public over the years–but for the first time, Nicks is opening up about a relationship she had outside of the band, and about a very personal decision she came to.

Nicks told Billboard Magazine recently that she got pregnant while dating Eagles singer Don Henley–after her breakup with Lindsey Buckingham–and decided not to have the baby. The news came as a shock to fans, especially when she revealed the truth about a song she penned for her band called “Sara”.

“Had I married Don and had that baby, and had she been a girl, I would have named her Sara. But there was another woman in my life named Sara, who shortly after that became Mick’s wife, Sara Fleetwood,” Nicks said.

“Sara”

Wait a minute baby…
Stay with me awhile
Said you’d give me light
But you never told be about the fire
Drowning in the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
And now it’s gone
It doesn’t matter anymore
When you build your house
Call me home
And he was just like a great dark wing
Within the wings of a storm
I think I had met my match — he was singing
And undoing the laces
Undoing the laces
Drowning in the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
And now it’s gone
It doesn’t matter anymore
When you build your house
Call me home
Hold on
The night is coming and the starling flew for days
I’d stay home at night all the time
I’d go anywhere, anywhere
Ask me and I’m there because I care
Sara, you’re the poet in my heart
Never change, never stop
And now it’s gone
It doesn’t matter what for
When you build your house
I’ll come by
Drowning in the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
And now it’s gone
It doesn’t matter anymore
When you build your house
Call me home
All I ever wanted
Was to know that you were dreaming
(There’s a heartbeat
And it never really died)

While fans of Nicks and Fleetwood Mac have been dying for a tell-all book from the musician, she says she doesn’t think it’ll happen, and for a good reason.

“The world is not ready for my memoir, I guarantee you. All of the men I hung out with are on their third wives by now, and the wives are all under 30. If I were to write what really happened between 1972 and now, a lot of people would be very angry with me. It’ll happen some day, just not for a very long time. I won’t write a book until everybody is so old that they no longer care. Like, ‘I’m 90, I don’t care what you write about me,” she said.