Steve Buscemi, Werther’s Original, and the Lottery
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
The fact that Angus T. Jones is a chubby little rich kid instead of an eccentric Texas oil tycoon that shoots old trees for fun baffles me.
The holidays make me want to grab a cup of hot chocolate and curl up in a nice fire.
If you look at the Gangnam Style video closely you can see the whole thing is the mad delusion of a man suffering sun stroke at the beach.
Imagine what kind of traps Kevin would have put together on Home Alone if he’d found Buzz’s stash of dildos.
Obama to host Romney for lunch Thursday. Nate Silver has it 61% fish, 23% chicken, 16% other. Dick Morris predicts fresh Dodo bird eggs.
The Lottery’s “Hey, You Never Know” slogan also works for genital warts.
Jessica Simpson is pregnant again, according to the Weight Watchers PR exec who just yelled “God damn it” at the top of his lungs.
If you can name 5 Kardashians but can’t name 5 countries in Asia, stick a knife in an electrical socket.
I thought Angus T. Jones was a brand of Walmart steaks.
can we redo all the tyler perry movies with white people oh nevermind thanks adam sandler
Steve Buscemi looks GREAT for a melted candle.
Is that a Werther’s Original in your pocket or OH GRAMPA