Slurpees, George Lucas, and Baseball Caps
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Hurry to 7-Eleven today to get your free Slurpee before they run out of ice and have to run to 7-Eleven to get more.
Just called someone and got a busy signal. Am I a time traveler?
“It’s okay. I speak jive.” – Mitt Romney at the NAACP convention
Inspired by Anderson Cooper’s stunning revelation, Kate Upton admits “I’m really good-looking.”
I forgot my dog’s birthday #FirstWorldProblems
My new girlfriend was impressed when I lasted for 40 minutes though she got upset when I turned off ‘Twilight’ as you can only watch so much
God gives everyone a hot cousin to test us.
calm down about rape jokes everyone’s been raped at least once by george lucas
This whole Tosh situation reminds me of the night the family of watermelons saw a Gallagher show.
Katie Holmes used burners to escape Tom Cruise? Controlling, megalomaniac husbands: don’t let your woman watch THE WIRE…
Don’t think you’re disgusting? Look at the inside brim of your baseball cap.
Maybe Kurt Cobain killed himself because he knew he was going to eventually write a Christmas album.