Skrillex, Snapple, and Nicki Minaj
Are people still flipping out over that Nicki Minaj line? If rap quotes were serious than NWA actually killed 20,000 people.
If your hamburger has lettuce on it, it’s a salad.
If you still haven’t heard Skrillex just imagine Rosie from The Jetsons in a tickle fight with a Sega Dreamcast.
Having a favorite politician is like a homeless guy having a favorite can.
Coffee shops are like dog parks for Apple products.
I bet the worst thing about being super famous is having a video of some freak-ass kid inviting you to the prom go viral on YouTube.
I left my TV on all day while I was gone so my furniture could watch the Clint Eastwood marathon on AMC.
I know I am getting old because I remember when Snapple used to taste like tea.
Chuck Norris thinks that re-electing Obama will create “1,000 years of darkness,” even though Chuck Norris jokes have already done that
I think we all agree that if President Obama introduces the new iPhone on the last night of the convention, this election is over.
The new iPhone 5 is engineered to hurt 3% less when you’re laying in bed reading and drop it on your face.
Remember when we all cared about catching that Kony guy for a couple of days? Yeah, me neither.