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Searching For A Google Christmas

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Google’s weekly report on the top search gainers, Zeitgeist, came with its usual disheartening revelations, boxed and wrapped by Christmas fanfare.

If you pay attention to search trends during the holidays, you learn some things: news (not always hard news) and the season drive search queries; vain pursuits are not abandoned just because it’s the holiday season, though they are reduced; and there’s still, even now, a sick obsession with Kevin Federline’s trampy exploits, but not quite enough of it to usurp the true meaning of the season. But none of that applies to Britney anyway.

Britney Spears, thanks to her newly-single drafty excursions (one of the few times the Paparazzi is thanked for anything) with the persistently re-gifted heiress Paris Hilton, is back on top of the search charts. How quickly they’ve forgiven her temporary matrimonial insanity.

And that’s okay. It is Christmas after all, right? Forgiveness. Good will towards men and pop stars. Except for Kevin, nobody forgives him. Searchers, though, still want to know the rebounds he grabs, digging around for information on his reported new arm candy, former adult film star Kendra Jade, who has also been linked with (wait for it) Jerry Springer. Classy. Jade’s number nine on the gainers list, just ahead of Charlie Brown Christmas.

Maybe there is no Great Pumpkin after all.

Most of the rest, though, in proper form, belongs to what is now the festive backdrop of commerce. Number three is [cyber monday]; number four is [christmas (desktop) wallpaper]; and number seven is [christmas tree].

The Nativity (sigh) didn’t make the top five. Again.

Here’s the complete list of top Google search gainers:

1. britney spears
2. valentin elizalde
3. cyber monday
4. christmas wallpaper
5. national weather service
6. nativity
7. christmas tree
8. kate winslet
9. kendra jade
10. charlie brown christmas

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