Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
HBO cancelled "Luck" after 3 horses died during production - which makes sense because horses live forever if they're not on TV.
Lame that HBO is canceling "Luck" after 3 horse deaths when Kevin James killed 11 zebras in "Zookeeper" & nobody complained.
The good news is that with 14 years in jail, Rod Blagojevich won't miss any Cubs playoff games.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY INTACT WATERMELONS EVERYWHERE I GO TODAY oh gallagher's in the hospital
Mitt Romney's not following March Madness, but he has some friends who own college teams.
TOO BAD HBO CANCEL LUCK! IT WAS LOT LIKE HUNGER GAMES! BUT WITH HORSES INSTEAD!
Gallagher having a heart attack isn't funny unless you imagine his heart smashing all of his arteries with a tiny mallet.
Some advice for Rod Blagojevich. In the prison shower, you may not wanna take the time to shampoo, rinse and repeat.
Officials say the first job assigned to former IL Gov. Rod Blagojevich in prison will be latrine duty. He'll probably try to sell the seat.
Rick Santorum can have my porn when he pries it from my lotiony dead hands.
@BearGrylls. New show idea: "Man vs. Wilde." You sit in a chair reading Oscar Wilde poems while drinking your own urine.Hey
I think the hardest thing for someone waking from a 10 year coma would be the crushing disappointment we're not all on Segways.