The only remake that's more unnecessary than Spike Lee's completely pointless box-office-bomb rehash of Oldboy is the upcoming remake of Paul Verhoeven's violent classic RoboCop. Nothing against the new RoboCop's director José Padilha, but he's basically opening up a collector's edition RoboCop DVD (you know, that cool metal one), pooping directly on the disc, closing it back up, and mailing it to Peter Weller.
Like many great sci-fi films, RoboCop asks us to think about what it means to be human. It just accomplishes this with some of the most extraordinarily over-the-top, blood-soaked violence in cinema history - and that's part of what makes it so endearing.
It's exactly what's going to be absent from the 2014 remake, which has been given a PG-13 rating. You can't make a RoboCop movie suitable for young kids. A RoboCop movie that your 11-year-old daughter wants to see is a shitty RoboCop movie. End of argument.
So, instead of taking your kids to see the most disheartening remake of 2014, have them watch this honest trailer. If they don't want to watch the 1987 RoboCop after this, well, it's time to think about adoption.
Image via YouTube