Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Penn State should keep the Joe Paterno statue. Just move it so he is looking the other way.
I don't like Twitter death hoaxes like this Eddie Murphy thing. I'm going the other way and starting a "Richard Pryor is alive" rumor
Remember when "Dawson's Creek" tried to tell us Katie Holmes was a great singer and we all learned what suspension of disbelief was?
Read the shocking Freeh report & now I know why people in State College called Joe Paterno the "Pope of Penn State"
Tonight is the #ESPYS or as the Kardashians like to call it, "Prom".
Thank God ESPN invented the ESPYS. How else would the best players and teams get trophies acknowledging their accomplishments?
Right now, your stockbroker is forcing his screaming family into matching sweaters for their holiday card picture.
AMC should put the administrators at Penn State in charge of guarding all future Breaking Bad spoilers.
"Ho's before bro's!" Douche Bag Titanic
Confused the Facebook status box with Google search, and I don't have to go to any more family functions.
Starbucks to open branch at funeral home. Now you can work on screenplay in front of body of person who told you to get a real job.
Romney: "Considering those were the first Black people I ever met, I thought it went pretty darn well."