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Pawn Stars, Glenn Danzig, and Falafel

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Pawn Stars, Glenn Danzig, and Falafel
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Not sure why Chris Christie thinks same-sex marriage would do more harm to his state than “Jersey Shore” has.
46 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Man auctions off vial of Reagan blood. He should have taken it to Pawn Stars so that Big Hoss could explain to the audience who Reagan was.
54 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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When the Huffington Post says someone ‘flipped out!’ it usually means they spoke a little more loudly than normal.
30 minutes ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto
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The Golden State Warriors are moving to San Francisco. What a terrible loss for the wonderful city of Golden State.
38 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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“Revenge is a dish best served… BOLD.” – I want to hear Taylor Lautner say this then throw a donkey at a helicopter
2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS · powered by @socialditto
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The worst thing about donating to public radio is IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM STOP ASKING.
51 minutes ago via Silver Bird · powered by @socialditto
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Professional wrestler name: Office Max. Signature move: Three Hole Punch.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Why is the symbols row of my keyboard swearing at me
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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It’s World Goth Day and somewhere Glenn Danzig is cleaning out kitty litter.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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I took the protective case off my iPhone. I’ve never felt so alive!
1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
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People asking me to come to Boston: please understand I’d rather eat falafel out of a dog’s asshole.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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It’s Morrissey’s birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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I’m living my Rock and Roll Fantasy (I blast Cinderella in my car on the way to work).
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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It’s so much sadder when pretty children are kidnapped.
1 hour ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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He’s Fat! He’s Skinny! Two Brothers, TOO FUNNY! Adam Sandler AND Adam Sandler in “Bud is Thicker than Walter!”
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Pawn Stars, Glenn Danzig, and Falafel
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