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Paula Deen, John Edwards and the FBI

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Paula Deen, John Edwards and the FBI
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we get tweets about Paula Deen’s diabetes (and subsequent ad campaign), John Edward’s heart problems and ways the FBI will begin to hide classified info.

Enjoy!

Can’t believe Paula Deen turned out to be Wilford Brimley doing drag this whole time. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

BREAKING NEWS TODAY: PAULA DEEN HAS TYPE 2 DIABETES. OTHER NEWS: AIR IS IN MOST PLACES ON EARTH. ALSO: THE SKY IS BLUE. 5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

“John Edwards Has Life-Threatening Heart Problem.” Yea, as has already been well-documented. 34 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto

FBI to begin storing classified info. in folder labeled “Nickelback.” 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Dear Religion, Pics or it didn’t happen. Love, Science 12 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Now that S&P downgraded Italian and French bonds, can I interest you in some very safe “Death Star 3″ bonds? 16 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Tila Tequlia to become Jewish. That is going to be one fucked up bat mitzvah… 40 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

GOP Trivia: Newt Gingrich has now been in the race longer than any of his marriages. 56 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I will keep donating to Suicide Girls until they find a cure. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

#ThingsIveLearned That “humans can’t survive in the vacuum of space” rumor isn’t quite as foolproof as I was led to believe 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Wilt Chamberlain’s 34 free-throw attempts record was beaten last night, but his record of having 34 penises remains uncontested. 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto

I’m not embarrassed to admit I’ve googled “Scarlett Johansson boobs” before, but I am a bit embarrassed to admit I’ve done it 140,000 times. 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Paula Deen, John Edwards and the FBI
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