Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
I'm glad we live in America. In many countries, the fate of the Affordable Care Act would have been decided on penalty kicks.
My favorite part about reading The New Yorker in public is looking around to make sure people see I'm reading The New Yorker in public.
Met a guy at the airport who said he was a child psychologist. Quit living in the past, dude. You're like 45 now!
Any word yet from Pat Robertson about what the Christian and very conservative people in Colorado Springs did to deserve this fire?
I feel like we should wait to hear Adele's ex-boyfriend's songs before we choose sides.
I bet Newtcare would consist of free Yoo-hoo for life.
If they pass a mandatory dental care law, I'm moving to the UK.
One bad day for conservatives does not negate their victory getting that severed Bush head removed from Game of Thrones.
If I were the new Paula Deen I'd have nightmares about the old Paula Deen trying to eat me.
I hope Ann Curry's last words on TODAY are "I guess SOME people find Curry a little too SPICY in the morning" and then she drops a mic.
It would be funny if whenever you tried to type a hashtag a hand popped out of the keyboard and broke all your fingers
Changing my facebook relationship status to married just to get my family off my back.