Usually, if your dinner guest told you that your cooking tasted like prison food, you'd probably throw a glass of
toilet wine in their face and kick them the hell out of your house. But maybe prison food doesn't have to be all that bad, you know, as long as it's marketed correctly.
Which leads me to the new Orange Is the New Black cookbook–yep, the Netflix show. Publisher Abrams says the cookbook will include "three square meals a day, plus snack/sides, desserts, and drinks." If Red would serve it, it's in there. If Red would serve it to Piper, let's hope it's not in there.
Here's Abrams' full description of the book:
Staffed and run by a band of misfit inmates, the kitchen at Litchfield is in many ways the center of the popular show Orange Is the New Black—a setting for camaraderie, drug smuggling, power struggles, and plot twists. And then there is the food. With 65 recipes, 12 sidebars that expand upon the fiction of the show, and 60 photographs from the show featuring favorite characters and memorable moments, Orange Is the New Black: The Cookbook adds new dimensions to any fan’s obsession.
The recipes cover three square meals a day, plus snacks/sides, desserts, and drinks. They include Red’s Chicken Kiev, Miss Claudette’s Coconut Cake, and Prison Punch. The sidebars include Taystee’s suggested prison reading list, the recipe for Red’s Homemade Homeopathic Remedies, and a prison glossary.
Chock full of in-depth information about the show, including recipe headnotes by the characters, DIY projects that emulate notable props, and prison factoids that help bring the show to life, this cookbook will bring a little piece of Litchfield right into your very own kitchen.
Last year when the show premiered on Netflix, Orange Is the New Black's social media accounts posted some prison recipes, some based on items seen in the show. Maybe the cookbook will feature stuff like this–elevated a bit and expanded upon? Hopefully? Salon says that the recipes in the cookbook won't be so "sparse."
— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) July 24, 2013
— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) July 13, 2013
— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) July 12, 2013
— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) June 19, 2013
Whatever the final product looks like, it'll hit store shelves on October 14th. Orange Is the New Black season 2 lands on Netflix on June 6th.
Just remember this simple rule when your significant other cooks you prison pad thai for dinner:
— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) March 5, 2014
Image via Orange Is The New Black, Twitter