Warning: Casual Hookups Can Cause Love, Marriage
Be still, conservative hearts, as we delve into one of the more lascivious phenomenons of our age: the Casual Encounter.
For those uninitiated in this most carnal of social activities, a casual encounter can be defined as any of the following: no-strings-attached sex, relationship-free sex, one night stand (though not limited to one night), booty calls, hook-ups, f**k buddies, friends with benefits, guy/girl on the side – the list is probably endless.
As maligned as such an lifestyle still remains in certain regions of our culture, more and more people are refusing to be shamed by their need to get their rocks off. Now, something bawdy this way comes in the shape of a “report” claiming that casual sexual encounters arranged on the Internet are more likely to end in with a walk down the aisle than walks of shame.
OnlineBootyCall.com, a website whose purpose you can probably parse for yourself as well as the world’s number one destination for casual online dating (that last part is a euphemism for casual sex, by the way), has “studied” the testimonials members have given as to why they’ve decided to delete their profile. Brilliantly titled “testiMOANials,” OBC says that an “overwhelming majority” of those departing site members claim to have found true love on the website. In a statement released today, the purveyors of promiscuity say that the second most-cited reason members leave OBC is because they have “started dating someone I met.”
OnlineBootyCall.com shared a testimonial of one satisfied woman who, after a successful booty call yielded repeated encounters, ended up settling down with someone she found on the site:
“I didn’t have to spend hundreds of dollars nor did I have to wait over 6 months to find the completion of my heart.” She and her husband met four years ago on OnlineBootyCall, have been married for three years, and have a 2-year-old daughter together. “We both sit back and laugh now at how we met because he nor I wanted anyone to know … lol,” she says, “but now I’ll just tell anybody … I love that man!! Thank you again OBC!”
OnlineBootyCall’s founder and president, Moses Brown pledged that, apropos of nothing, “all online encounters should be considered casual until proven otherwise.” In spite of that slippery adage, he explained the high frequency of happy endings on OnlineBootyCall, “Sites like eHarmony put too much emphasis on the serious task of starting relationships online. At OBC, our members are having fun meeting new people and are dating without the pressure of commitment.”
I doubt that this report will find its way into any scientific journals any time soon, nor do I imagine a significant increase in people willing to drop their drawers for strangers, but.. you gotta give OBC a hand for trying, right?