Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
If you watched “Honey Boo Boo”, then you surrendered your right to complain about that anything else that happens in the world, ever.
I have a beach body. It’s very bright and causes people to squint.
I’m the Usain Bolt of watching Usain Bolt while eating a cookie.
Today’s Equation: Man + Skis x Tree = Femur / 3
Apparently, the only symptom of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is constantly shouting “I’m so OCD, you guys!”
THAT LAST TIME DRUNK HULK GO DRINKING WITH RANDY TRAVIS!
“Balls and hoops today. Clubs and ribbon tomorrow.” Schedule for rhythmic gymnastics or excerpt from 50 Shades?
“I have low battery” is the “I have a headache” of sexting.
Romney only agreed to announce his running mate via his app after being told it couldn’t be done via Tamagotchi.
The biggest challenge for any Olympic athlete is to avoid winding up like Bruce Jenner.
There are no cheat codes for Wii Fit #firstworldproblems
I’m old enough to remember when rewinding a tape was directly associated with kindness.