Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Wonder how Paula Deen's celebrating National Pie Day. Maybe she's dumping nicotine into every new recipe and then investing in Nicorette.
I'm starting to think this "National Pie Day" was just another holiday cooked up by pie corporations & pie lobbyists to bring in the dough.
Rand Paul was detained by TSA after refusing a pat down. Maybe he needs counselling, an ultrasound, 24hr waiting period before a pat down?
I hope the TSA doesn't detain too many senators besides Rand Paul, or Obama might declare the Senate in recess again.
So, did people listening to Steven Tyler expect him to sound like Pavarotti? He sounded like Steven Tyler.
i went outside to put a raccoon out of its misery - then i realized my neighbor was watching Steven Tyler sing the Star-Spangled Banner
Just imagined Newt Gingrich as President and finally googled "Mayan Calendar"
Patriots and Giants. Man, I am really looking forward to the Super Bowl... commercials.
I look forward to ESPN's First Take debating the role Tim Tebow will have in the Giants-Patriots Super Bowl.
Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.
Analysts say Romney needs to "press the reset button." But won't that void the warranty?
Hey Heidi, heard you and Seal are getting divorced. When you want a new scarred black man with a sexy voice, call me. -Vader.
I wonder what Man on a Ledge is about
If my kids want to be taken more seriously they should stop talking to stuffed animals.
Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
Happy Chinese New Year! (sent from iPhone)