Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
@richardmarx
Richard MarxWonder how Paula Deen’s celebrating National Pie Day. Maybe she’s dumping nicotine into every new recipe and then investing in Nicorette.
6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@thekeller
Keller DavisI’m starting to think this “National Pie Day” was just another holiday cooked up by pie corporations & pie lobbyists to bring in the dough. 54 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DCdebbie
DC DebbieRand Paul was detained by TSA after refusing a pat down. Maybe he needs counselling, an ultrasound, 24hr waiting period before a pat down? 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Doc_0
John HaywardI hope the TSA doesn’t detain too many senators besides Rand Paul, or Obama might declare the Senate in recess again. 6 hours ago via Seesmic · powered by @socialditto
@jhahne
Jeff HahneSo, did people listening to Steven Tyler expect him to sound like Pavarotti? He sounded like Steven Tyler. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@greggutfeld
GregGutfeldi went outside to put a raccoon out of its misery – then i realized my neighbor was watching Steven Tyler sing the Star-Spangled Banner 19 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@kellyoxford
kelly oxfordJust imagined Newt Gingrich as President and finally googled “Mayan Calendar” 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@jimgeraghty
jimgeraghtyPatriots and Giants. Man, I am really looking forward to the Super Bowl… commercials. 8 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@richarddeitsch
Richard DeitschI look forward to ESPN’s First Take debating the role Tim Tebow will have in the Giants-Patriots Super Bowl. 16 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DemetriMartin
Demetri MartinKnights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets. 33 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@ApocalypseHow
Rob KutnerAnalysts say Romney needs to “press the reset button.” But won’t that void the warranty? 35 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DeathStarPR
Death Star PRHey Heidi, heard you and Seal are getting divorced. When you want a new scarred black man with a sexy voice, call me. -Vader. 44 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@yoyoha
Josh HaraI wonder what Man on a Ledge is about 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@tompapa
Tom PapaIf my kids want to be taken more seriously they should stop talking to stuffed animals. 2 hours ago via Twitterrific · powered by @socialditto
@meganamram
Megan AmramNoah’s flood = God clearing his browser history 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@SamGrittner
Sam GrittnerHappy Chinese New Year! (sent from iPhone) 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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