Nancy Grace, Scrabble, and Corona

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

@meganamram
Megan AmramNancy Grace is what would happen if a Caps Lock key came to life 53 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@Ahm76
AhmEver wonder which of your friends would lose all sense of morality in a war situation? It’s the ones who play ‘Qi’ in Scrabble. 3 minutes ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@juliussharpe
Julius SharpeRemember – your phone could be hacked at any time. That’s why you should only keep pictures of other people’s dicks. 9 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DearAnyone
Artie JohannMy favorite part about Corona commercials is the part where you can pause it and jerk off to the girl in it. 14 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@PimpBillClinton
Bill ClintonAnybody know when Pootie Tang comes out on Blu-Ray? 18 minutes ago via TweetCaster for iOS · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DamienFahey
Damien FaheyMy audition tape for NPR is just two hours of me doing creepy inhale breaths. 19 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonHeidi Klum says being around her kids makes her feel beautiful, which we all know is just a nice way of her calling her kids ugly. 23 minutes ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadI could never be a maid. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Law and Order, they find a ton of dead bodies. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonI want to do a revival of the show ‘Cats’ starring famous cats from YouTube. 1 hour ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@jamonthirteen
jamonthirteenSeeing Mark Ruffalo’s stupid face makes me turn into the Hulk. 1 hour ago via Favstar.FM · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@michaelianblack
Michael Ian BlackThe thing about Nicki Minaj is shut up. 1 hour ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto