Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
I wonder how many Horcruxes Madonna has.
Truly sad thing about being a Packers fan today for most? With your team now done, all you have is the realization you live in Green Bay.
Happy MLK Day! Reflect on how far we've come as a human race. Or just watch Netflix & take a nap. Both good ways to spend a Monday off.
i won't believe Jon Huntsman is endorsing Mitt Romney until I hear it in Mandarin.
Morgan Freeman was born at the age of 48
"I have a dream that one day I'll be misquoted on twitter." - MLK
"I have a dream...that one day people will take 7 seconds out of their lives to cut and paste one of my quotes into their status updates."
The fact that two Saudis with the same name were at the party was Amir coincidence.
If you're enjoying this day off from work, please take a moment to thank all of our super racist ancestors who made it possible.
"Stop hanging your clothes on me you dirty jew!" - Closet Racist
"Wait, which one was Huntsman?" -- Rick Perry
I wonder how many times have people without vaginas accidentally texted "Off to the gyn" instead of "off to the gym?"