Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
March 20: Happy Autumnal Equinox to the 20% of Earth's human population (& 100% of free Penguins) living south of the equator
BREAKING: Nancy Grace Blames Amelia Earhart's Disappearance on Husband
Satan Manning signs with Denver. Or at least that's what Tim Tebow told me in prayer circle this morning.
I keep waiting for Michael Bay to photoshop Shia Labeouf into all my baby photos & officially ruin every childhood memory I have.
I'd trust Muhammad Ali on a tightrope holding an infant over an active volcano before I'd trust Michael Bay with the Ninja Turtles.
Adriana Lima is 'pregnant'. Pretty sure Jessica Simpson is acting as her surrogate though.
Just watched a Newt Gingrich speech and it reminded me I have to buy butter.
The astronauts were complaining about space being cold so I have bought them all iPad 3s
I'm not afraid of dying alone, I'm afraid of living a very, very long life alone.
You can't fool me, Wikipedia. Everyone knows that calories are units of deliciousness.