Melissa Gorga: “Girls Don’t Poop”

    September 27, 2013
    Amanda Crum

Melissa Gorga, one of the stars of “The Real Housewives Of New Jersey”, has a new book out that’s gaining some significant attention…and not in a good way.

Gorga gives advice on sex and keeping the spark in your marriage, and they include not pooping anywhere near your husband and letting him turn you around and “rip your clothes off” when you say you’re not in the mood. Because every woman wants that.

“Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated. Women don’t realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want,” she writes.

There’s also advice on keeping one’s bathroom habits completely hidden from a significant other, because everyone knows that girls get rid of their bodily waste via tiny fairies who carry it away and leave behind the scent of honeysuckle.

“Girls don’t poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn’t happen. Or, that’s what Joe thinks! We’ve been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don’t do it when he’s around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won’t hear, smell, or see. It’s a challenge.”

Gorga said in a recent interview that she understands why the book may be controversial to some.

“I think it’s controversial in many ways because we do really live an old school type of marriage but with a modern twist,” she said.

If you’re interested in more of the Gorgas’ advice on love, pick up the book, “Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage”.

Image: Entertainment Tonight


Amanda Crum
Amanda Crum is a writer and artist from Kentucky. She's a fan of Edward Gorey, Hunter S. Thompson, and horror movies. You can follow her on Google:+Amanda Crum