Melissa Gorga: “Girls Don’t Poop”

    September 27, 2013
    Amanda Crum
    Comments are off for this post.

Melissa Gorga, one of the stars of “The Real Housewives Of New Jersey”, has a new book out that’s gaining some significant attention…and not in a good way.

Gorga gives advice on sex and keeping the spark in your marriage, and they include not pooping anywhere near your husband and letting him turn you around and “rip your clothes off” when you say you’re not in the mood. Because every woman wants that.

“Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated. Women don’t realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want,” she writes.

There’s also advice on keeping one’s bathroom habits completely hidden from a significant other, because everyone knows that girls get rid of their bodily waste via tiny fairies who carry it away and leave behind the scent of honeysuckle.

“Girls don’t poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn’t happen. Or, that’s what Joe thinks! We’ve been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don’t do it when he’s around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won’t hear, smell, or see. It’s a challenge.”

Gorga said in a recent interview that she understands why the book may be controversial to some.

“I think it’s controversial in many ways because we do really live an old school type of marriage but with a modern twist,” she said.

If you’re interested in more of the Gorgas’ advice on love, pick up the book, “Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage”.

Image: Entertainment Tonight

  • Nancy

    As for the “pooping”…. I sure hope her marriage doesn’t disintegrate if he or she ever gets sick…
    .. There is a LOT of poop involved in any serious sickness, and after all the phrase “in sickness and health” is still important.

    Beyond that .. I like the girl… she is a fun, daring, creative little gal… I do wonder how she would be if she were faced with a more normal life… fewer conveniences and more drudgery.

  • Chris

    I am 39 and have been with my husband since I have been 18.. I am not a fan of hers.. but I actually agree on the “poop” thing… of course he knows I do it.. “there are no fairies or whatever she said” but I NEVER do it from of him.. I think some things really are meant to be private … and he doesn’t do it in front of me either. (what an odd topic) :) ha!

  • Toto

    That’s a woman I would marry. She is right on! I told my ex-wife once, if you ever fart in front of me, I won’t see you the same and my love for you certainly will be different. Women have to be clean in my eyes. Never in 10 years did I hear that woman do it or go to the bathroom. But what did you two divorce you might ask. I don’t know… she might have gotten tired of me farting in the kitchen.

  • Hmm

    The book will sell and actually she told the truth about a lot of things. The whole poop thing was actually a little humorous. I don’t think she meant it literally and in one interview she said that she put that in just to be a little funny. Although, I have met women like that. For some women, bodily functions are things they wanted to keep very private.

    I also have noticed that to a certain degree women do like to be dominated. Nice guys in our society simply finish last. Many women pass on a really respectful guy for one that is very dominant. Seen this a thousand times. It has even happened to me personally. I have dated a few woman that claimed I was too nice in bed. Sometimes being too nice in bed is just as bad as been too demanding.

    Of course, what she said is not politically correct and people will get mad or bash her for it, but the facade people display in public is often not how they are behind closed doors. Most people in America are freaks behind closed doors, but to hear people tell it, everyone is a saint. For example, ask a person if they watch porn and most would say no, but the internet usage facts tell a totally different story.

    In the end, she is a pretty woman and actually does know what men like. She won’t have trouble keeping a guy or if a guy does leave her, finding another guy. She is realistic and knows what men like.

    • native

      I think you said it much better than I did!

      • Hmm

        Thank you for the compliment. You did fine with your comment. I completely understood what you were saying and I agree.

        I am a guy and I know that I have had sex with my girlfriend even when I wasn’t in the mood. You can’t be selfish in relationships and do things only when you are in the mood to do them.

        I really believe if each person in a relationship concentrates on making the other person happy then things work themselves out. It is when we become selfish or when things get to be to one-sided that problems start.

        Nothing in a relationship is ever 50/50. Sometimes it is 60/40 or 40/60.

  • native

    It’s funny…she has a few good points. Her words are being twisted a little. She is not saying let your husband beat you. She’s saying sometimes you might have to “put out” when your not really in the mood. Have done it a few times myself…keeps my man happy. I read in another article she says that if they don’t fool around for a few days a small argument can get blown out of proportion the next day and she is 100% correct! Men and women in a relationship are suppose to do things to make each other happy….they both seem nice enough, just not my cup of tea.

  • Howard

    I feel bad for her. This is the second article I read about her book. Read between the lines here. It sounds like she is totally under the control of a possessive, insecure husband. Like an abused child, she rationalizes her behavior. Does every woman want to be ‘taken’ when she isn’t in the mood? HELL NO!!! Some people call that rape. Her guide to a happy marriage is nothing more than a huge cry for help from a frightened woman if you ask me.

    • @Howard

      You have got to be kidding me. She is not a child and she wrote a whole book about her own thoughts and feelings. There is no need to “read between the lines” when a person take months writing their thoughts down on paper and publishes them.

      What you are doing is projecting your thoughts onto this woman and not listening to what she is saying. It wouldn’t matter what this woman wrote because in the end, you will “read between the lines” and come up with your own version.

    • @Howard

      Not every woman in the world is a victim or abused.

      This is also the real world…. people have sex when they are not in the mood. I have sex with my girlfriend when I am not in the mood and it isn’t rape. She is very aggressive too. But it still isn’t rape.

      How in the world you figured out she was “frightened” is beyond me. She could up and leave at the drop of a hat. She has the means to do that and frankly, there are tons of guys that would want her.

    • Can We Give It a Rest

      Can we please give it a rest…. this whole… every woman is an abused woman crying out for help routine. Not every woman in the world is a victim. Yet, there is always some person who “reads between the lines” and determines that the woman is abused. It is like people actually want there to be a victim so they can play the hero and sound morally upstanding when they point it out.

      It gets old after a while.

    • Another Way of Looking At It

      When you have sex when you are only in the mood, that to me, is selfish. I think people really fool themselves when they wonder what really causes breakups A large part of breakups is not getting enough sex and affection.

      Want to see a relationship fall apart really quickly —- find one where one person stopped having sex. Yes, there are those cases where people stay together in a sexless marriage due to an accident or medical reason, but those are very few and far between.

      In the book, the woman never even mentions being in an abusive relationship. In fact, she raves about her marriage. I think “reading between the lines” is just people trying to poke holes into what a person says. Why read between the lines when you have the lines right in front of your face?

  • Winnie

    I like Melissa, but I can’t stand this way of thinking that keeps us in the dark ages. Women have just as many (and depending on how you look at it-more with our menstrual cycles) bodily functions as men and to have to live your life keeping track of your husband’s sleep cycle or praying for him to leave the house so you can go relieve yourself is just insane. Why is it okay for you to smell his mess but him smelling yours a deal breaker? How is that love? What she is talking about is not necessarily doing it in front of your spouse, but eliminating any indication whatsoever that you have bowel movements. It’s absurd. Whatever works for you, then fine. But I would not be in a relationship with anyone that I felt I had to pretend to be a plastic hollow shell with no digestive or nervous system for fear of shattering their self-induced fantasy-land. Anyone who says things like this to me I just chalk up to them being immature-minded. Your marriage works that well because you are keeping up false pretenses. If that is what it takes to keep your relationship tugging along, then what kind of a relationship is it?

    • @Winnie

      I have dated many women like this. Some women just feel weird about that kind of stuff. I most certainly did not ever say anything about it one way or the other. I think it is actually just a function of them thinking it is gross or not lady like.

      Don’t know what to tell you, but I have run into several women like her.

      I don’t think it is keeping anyone in the dark ages. What we forget is that there are many people out there with different ways of doing things. The reality is that everyone is just different. Honestly, if you are lucky enough to be in a relationship that works and you are happy, then it really isn’t anyone else’s business what you do. It is so hard to just have a happy relationship nowadays — so whatever works — do it.