Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Mitt Romney is at the Olympics. Mitt said he loves watching people from other countries work for no money.
It also happens in a Lamborghini. RT @chrisbrown: Bullying isn't just something that happens in school.
The way airplane toilets flush, it's like they're mad you took a shit.
The worst part of Dark Knight Rises is when they unveil the Joe Paterno statue at the end.
I just drank four beers and I don't even have a buzz. #FirstWorldProblems
I bought a Mike Tyson grill but it was just a set of dentures with two gold teeth?
Bright orange nail polish is the official vacation nail polish for chicks named Tara.
In a show of conservative support, Michele Bachmann just unhinged her jaw and ate an entire Chick-fil-A restaurant.
"Excuse me, my eyes are up her- OH FUCK NOT AGAIN." - Medusa
Chick-fil-A could punt kittens, I'd still eat it.
"I'm dead to me." - depressed mobster.
If music is the universal language then Nickelback is cosmically illiterate.