Mark Zuckerberg, JP Morgan, and Bieber FeverBy: Josh Wolford - May 14, 2012
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
alright moms. back to work.
Mark Zuckerberg is 28 today and is worth $100B. Reminds me of when I was 28 and was able to purchase groceries without selling plasma.
#Bachelorette drinking game: Drink whenever someone says journey, amazing or how much they love kids. Also, have 911 on speed dialTonight’s
JPMorgan Chase to be bailed out by the Avengers movie.
Breaking: Husband surprises wife on Mother’s Day by actually finishing a project he started.
Surprised Newsweek didn’t have Joe Biden breastfeeding President Obama on the cover….
People joke about Bieber Fever. Don’t – Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father.
Post some more song lyrics as your status. Someone will eventually understand your struggle.
#SignsThatYoureLonely – You play with your lightsaber too much.
Cincinnati basketball players allegedly involved in nightclub incident. Police will begin investigation with the Bengals out of habit.
Elections would be cooler with high speed chases and nude scenes.
Who is Mark Zuckerberg? I can’t find him on my Friendster, but the other 12 people on here keep wishing him a happy birthday.