Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Serious question: When Matthew McConaughey was filming "Magic Mike," was he even aware he was making a movie?
Walk DMC #fatbands
Sorry I missed your call but you ruined my day by leaving a voice mail so we're even.
This marks the first time in years that 50 Cent is being talked about because of a hit.
If only I knew what Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation, I wouldn't need therapy anymore.
Picnic! At the Disco. #fatbands
My girlfriend's favorite part of Star Wars is the Ewoks. #FirstWorldProblems
GAY PRIDE OREO! DRUNK HULK NO UNDERSTAND ANY RELIGION UNWILLING TO SUPPORT OREO COOKIE WITH 500% MORE CREAM INSIDE!
I handle most situations like a dog. If I can't eat it or hump it, I piss on it and walk away.
"Come lift heavy things while making sex noises." - The gym