Liam Neeson, Lawn Darts, and a Twitter Crash
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Can’t wait to see Taken 3, in which a confused Liam Neeson kidnaps his own daughter.
You learn a lot when #Twitter is down. For example, my wife left me four years ago.
Does anyone own the cars in Target’s parking lot or are they always there?
It’s funny that “Salad” sometimes means “A healthy mix of…” and sometimes means “blended with mayonnaise…”
Twitter keeps crashing. Either there’s been a massive political scandal, Justin Bieber has died or it’s raining in London.
When Twitter is down, Facebook is like an old nicotine patch you fish out of the trash in desperation.
I think I speak for everyone when I say there aren’t enough reality shows about people planning weddings.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
Today’s Equation: Lawn Darts + Flip Flops = Toes – 1
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: PENNY MODEL #RejectedAbeLincolnMovieConcepts
I left my mini wheats too long before eating them. Now they have no coating. #firstworldproblems
I’ve never seen “Snakes On A Plane.” I wonder what it’s about.