Kirstie Alley Has A Lot To Say In Her New Book

    November 7, 2012
    Amanda Crum

Kirstie Alley has revealed a whole lot of things during promotion for her new book, “The Art Of Men”, including the fact that she propositioned Patrick Swayze back when they were working on “North And South” together and he turned her down.

A quick look at the book’s profile on, however, shows she has much more to say, and some of it might get her some backlash when it makes the rounds in curious reader circles (it was released yesterday). One of the chapters, entitled, “The Art Of Retarded Young Men”, tells the story of how she was pranked by her old “Cheers” buddy Woody Harrelson.

Just as we were filming the last shot of the evening, an airline captain approached me. He informed me that his 20-year-old “retarded” son had recently been in a horrible car accident that had almost taken his life. He had been badly burned and had broken both legs and an arm. He told me his son was my number one fan and that he’d brought him to the set to meet me. He inquired as to whether it was possible, right after we finished shooting, that I could come into the hangar and take just a minute to meet him. Suddenly me being pregnant and freezing my ass off didn’t have much relevance. A retarded (it wasn’t politically incorrect to say that word back then), badly burned, and broken lad had traveled all this way just to meet me. Of course I said yes!

When we completed the final shot of the night, the director yelled, “Cut, print, wrap.” John escorted me to the hangar, and I set eyes on the poor, retarded, bandaged young man sitting in a wheelchair. I took a deep breath because he was covered in gauze and splints and was more damaged than I had imagined. When I approached him he began to laugh and gyrate in his wheelchair back and forth. He was ecstatic to meet me. These are the times being a celebrity really pays off—to bring that much joy to an individual is . . . joyous.

He put his bandaged hand out—I took it. He said in his retarded way, “I love you.” I reciprocated, “I love you, too.” He pulled me closer. He was really strong! “I love you,” a little louder and more audible. “I love you, too,” I said. He then took both my arms and pulled me much closer. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said, and I proclaimed, “I looove you soooo much” in the sort of half-real, half-anxiety-ridden way you’d act if a retarded boy was mauling you. He was holding me so tightly it was actually hurting me, but he was retarded, so I persevered.

Though the young man was actually Harrelson in disguise, it’s surprising to some that Alley would use the word “retarded” so brashly, even when describing something that happened years ago. The actress and “Dancing With The Stars” competitor is already garnering some heated discussion with the revelation that she ruined her first marriage because of her feelings for Swayze, who passed away in 2009.


Amanda Crum
Amanda Crum is a writer and artist from Kentucky. She's a fan of Edward Gorey, Hunter S. Thompson, and horror movies. You can follow her on Google:+Amanda Crum