Kim Jong-Un Gives Himself the Title of Army Chief
Kim Jong-Un, the recently-appointed North Korean leader and son of deceased Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il, has taken his role as the country’s masthead one step further. Following the departure of military leader Ri Yong-ho — the country has stated that his vacancy was due in part to health concerns — Kim Jong-Un has appointed himself as Army Chief. Although reports previously indicated that Kim intended to place someone of his choosing into the role, it would appear that the newly-minted ruler had other plans in mind.
The announcement came directly from the country’s state media, claiming that Jong-Un was extremely interested in holding the same title his father held before his death late last year. Some believe this move was made in order for the young leader to leave his mark on North Korea, and to show that he isn’t entirely controlled by the military. Puppet leader, be damned.
Some analysts have speculated Jong-Un’s appointment as Army Chief precedes an announcement regarding the country’s nuclear program. However, officials at the Korean Institute of Geoscience and Mineral Resources have reported that no seismic activity has been documented in the area, which indicates that nuclear testing has not taken place. This, of course, is extremely good news, as the country seems obsessed with flexing its military muscles from time-to-time. As if their million-man army wasn’t enough to get the point across.
Trying to get information out of North Korea is an almost impossible task. Very little is known about the country and its new leader, including his real age. Recently, a mysterious woman dressed in black was spotted alongside Kim Jong-Un, prompting endless speculation as to who, precisely, this lady really is. Some have said she’s nothing more than the leader’s lover, while others believe she could be his younger sister.
Wise-cracking Twitter users have weighed in on the Kim’s announcement. A few of their witty comments can be found in the space provided below. If you’re curious, check ’em out.
Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from “Leader of North Korea” to “Supreme Leader of North Korea” by adding sour cream and extra cheese.
Kim Jong-un has been appointed marshal of the North Korean military, beating a strong field of competitors, until they agreed.
Congrats to Kim Jong Un! You deserve it buddy! Hataz gon’ hate! Don’t let them take your shine!
As a nod to Kim Jong Un’s new title, I am awarding myself the new title of Master of the Universe. Please address me as such. Thank you.
Kim Jong-un named Marshal of all of North Korea, but not yet Great Marshal. Are we sure he’s not making up titles?