Kim Jong-Un, Chick-fil-A, and Sleep Number Beds
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Just arrived in Beijing for the Olympics. These buildings do not look like they’re ready for Friday.
Congrats to Kim Jong-un for marrying a woman and not a bunch of pieces of ham shaped like a woman.
Kristen Stewart admits to cheating on Robert Pattinson. She looks really upset about it, or happy, or maybe sleepy?
Chick Fil-A slogan pitch: “So good you’ll question your values.”
“Fitty” refers either to rapper 50 Cent or someone who is prone to fits.
Poll: The majority of Americans believe the past tense of SHIT is SHAT beating out SHITTED for 2nd year in a row.
If it takes more than a week to approve us as FB friends, either I’m impressed u hardly use it or I REALLY wonder what ur vetting process is
Congrats to Kim Jong Un’s beautiful new bride for saying “I do”, thus securing the release of her family from a locked, windowless shed.
Sleep Number beds are the polite way of saying, “You stay over there!”
Which Berenstain Bear book deals with people tagging you in shitty Facebook photos?
I wonder how many people would still be in relationships if they never invented password locked cell phones?
This drought is great. It’s like having a giant Instagram filter for my lawn.