Kanye West, Flag Day, and Bourbon
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Someone robbed Kanye West’s house. How could they be so heartless?
So 3 guys Rihanna dated got into a fight last night. If all the guys who dated Kim Kardashian got into a fight, it’d be called World War III
A movie I added to my Netflix Instant Queue is no longer available. #firstworldproblems
Stunned to hear House Hunters is fake. I thought all home-buyers only looked at 3 houses.
We are born with nothing and we die with nothing but our student loans.
Everyone will grow to just the right height. #ReasonsToVoteForMittRomney
My only real accomplishment in life is knowing all the words to Coolio’s “gangsta’s paradise”.
My neutral emotional state is “waiting for biopsy results”.
Oregon man who saved a mouse from the jaws of a cat catches the black plague in what doctors are calling the worst Tom & Jerry cartoon ever.
HBO apologizes for using a rubber George W. Bush decapitated head on GAME OF THRONES. George W. Bush relieved to hear it wasn’t real.
TODAY IS BOURBON DAY! AFTER 364 DRESS REHEARSAL! DRUNK HULK READY FOR REAL THING!
To celebrate Flag Day, Chris Brown plans to beat up Betsy Ross’s corpse.
R. Kelly owes $4.8m in back taxes. What, did he just piss all that away?