Jessa Duggar Enters Courtship, Talks Relationships

By: Amanda Crum - March 11, 2014

Jessa Duggar, the third daughter of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, has entered into a courtship with a boy from the family’s church and talks a bit about her family’s strict relationship rules in a new book co-written with her sisters.

The Duggar girls are forbidden from dating in the sense that most of us are familiar with; they must first enter a “courtship” with a boy, which includes chaperoned get-togethers and no kissing or other touching, other than what they call “side-hugs“. The family, who rose to fame on TLC when they were profiled for a one-off special that became a hit reality series, does not believe in birth control or sex before marriage and have strict guidelines regarding their teenagers and relationships.

“It’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment. By censoring our thoughts through the filter of God’s word, we will be able to recant any wrong thoughts or temptations that try to sneak in,” the sisters say in their book, “Growing Up Duggar”.

As for Jessa and her friend Ben Seewald, mom Michelle says the two are enjoying spending time together.

“Dad allowed them to do a side hug when they were officially courting,” Michelle said.. “Jessa and Ben have said that was the only contact they would have, when they initially greet each other, when he comes to visit for their first hello, they have a quick 30 second or less side hug and a goodbye side hug and they agreed that would be the only contact they should have.”

)

Image via YouTube

About the Author

Amanda CrumAmanda Crum is a writer and artist from Kentucky. She's a fan of Edward Gorey, Hunter S. Thompson, and horror movies. You can follow her on Google:+Amanda Crum

View all posts by Amanda Crum
  • Puddin’tane

    You may not understanding this process. If it weren’t put in black and white, but just between the people who are learning it as they grow up, it wouldn’t seem so restrictive. THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE, not teenagers acting like animals and having babies before getting an education and being able to provide for them. Besides these teens having sex, don’t know anything about each other than the fact that “he or she is sooooo cute”. If they were taught how serious a marriage relationship is, there wouldn’t be so much divorce.

    • http://downtrend.com/ V Saxena

      Completely agreed!

    • Oxana, Humanist!

      I am not a Christian nor am I of any other religion, but I do agree with much of what you are saying. Parents are way too permissive about their teens dating unchaperoned. Some even think it is a right of passage; I think it’s a life altering disaster waiting to happen. Teens need to be better educated about sex (which is an ongoing process–not one conversation), and the beauty, safety (physical & emotional), and importance of monogamous long term partnerships and marriages.

    • rejoicingmary

      amen and amen! And it’s not a “religious” thing. It’s also about protecting your heart and your values and not letting your body get used like a dishcloth.

  • https://twitter.com/KrissyL47 Krissy Willoughby

    I think they are wonderful kids. Even if I wouldn’t bring mine up the same, I still think they are great role models for young girls today. Makes me sad to see some girls that look like they are 12 going on 20…or even worse….act like it.

  • Maureen O’leary

    Jessa: Each of us has our opinions and mine is that we live in a world full of restraints. We limit ourselves in the amount of food we eat, the speed in which we drive, the words we allow to be spoken. If you do not allow yourself to meet and interact with men you will be a spinster. No one is suggesting sex before marriage is right, but “avoiding” men is a child like and uneducated. You thank God in prayer that you were born “normal”. What is normal to you? Sounds like you stand in judgment when you should be loving and accepting of all types of “normal”. I pray tonight that you continue to learn and grow to know a deeper understanding of people, life, and God’s message of love for others, which I think you forgot.

    • MsK

      You just said everyone has an opinion, but you are not allowing Jessa to have one of her own. You insinuate that she is judging others, and she hasn’t it. You are judging her.

      • Maureen O’leary

        I respect Jessa for having her opinion and expect others for respecting mine which is in opposition to hers. She judges others by professing herself as normal and others as abnormal. She has a closed minded and uneducated view of normal and I pray she continues to grow in education and life experience. I pray she grows tolerant and loving to those who are not like herself and doesn’t label others as abnormal when in fact they are God’s children but simply wrapped in a different and perfectly normal shell.

  • HumblyConceited

    STFU your parents are ass clowns

  • Elle

    I am definitely all for toning down the physical nature of relationships that teenagers have. I hate the fact that it’s just expected that you’ll sleep together by the third date to show that you’re really interested in someone. That’s a definite recipe to cause unstable relationships. When I first started dating I wasn’t allowed out without a chaperone and I think that made me feel a lot safer and like I had better control of the situation than I would have, simply because the pressure of wondering what we were supposed to be doing was taken away.

    That said, it does seem like these folks are taking things to an extreme for the sake of the show. Absolutely no contact with an individual at all is a bit much. I mean, you would naturally have more contact than that with a friend or family member. Plenty of supervision and limiting the sensual bit is definitely to be encouraged, but I don’t think they need to monitor every text and touch these two give each other. That just makes it seem like they don’t trust the daughter they’ve raised to stand up for herself and choose a high quality partner, which appears to be the exact opposite of what’s really going on.

  • Laura Parker

    I give the parents a lot of credit on how they raised and still are raising their children. When God is the center of a family, it could not be any better than that. I am not saying things don’t happen, of course they do, but the Duggar’s know when something bad happens, the Lord is their strength.
    I was reading something they said and that is the only thing I disagree with…no birth control. I believe in it, but that is their opinion.
    They are a great family and God bless to all of them.

  • Scdz2010

    This is crazy! She’s a good girl why can’t they trust her a bit more? Yes I agree they should be supervised but this is a bit much.