Jerry Maguire To Visit Yahoo!

    March 20, 2006
    WebProNews Staff

Everybody’s favorite expert on “the history of psychology,” chemical imbalances, and couch surfing, Tom Cruise is slated to appear at the Yahoo! campus tomorrow as part of the company’s “Influential Speakers” series.

The View From South Park
So, Scientology, you may have won this battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will not stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

-Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.

“As you can imagine, this is getting a lot of laughs at yahoo inc. right now,” writes in a Valleywag tipster (careful with that link, the tipster uses the “c word”).

Those wishing to attend are invited to submit questions for Maverick to answer, though many aren’t sure what type of questions won’t send him into a vain-popping sofa-assault.

Assumedly, the event planners at Yahoo! considered Cruise an “influential speaker” before last week’s rumored string-pulling to get the now infamous “South Park Scientology episode” yanked from re-airing.

Who’s Yahoo!’s next “Influential Speaker? Perhaps they’ll continue their sober selection from the celebrity A-list — somebody like Ozzy Osborne, Anna Nicole Smith, or Courtney Love shouldn’t be far from their minds.