Jennifer Aniston, Pasta, and Shark Week
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
It’s shark week again?!? I feel like I just took down the decorations from last year.
Hey girl, let’s put on Stairway to Heaven so I can trickle down all over you.
the spice girls performance was delayed because Victoria Beckham got mistaken for a javelin and was locked in the equipment cupboard
Jennifer Aniston is engaged! So excited to finally see something go right for that incredibly hot, world-famous multimillionaire.
I’d like to wish a Happy Shark Week to Kirsten Dunst’s teeth.
Keyboards should give an electric shock with each keystroke when caps lock is on.
I cooked pasta then realised there wasn’t quite enough pesto left in the jar to coat the volume of pasta I wanted… #firstworldproblems
The global economy is NSFW.
“Back to being freakishly tiny.” – Olympians
I miss the days when my biggest fear was getting shampoo in my eyes.
There’s nothing more sickening than the minute of glee after someone who went to Harvard discovers someone else went to Harvard.
If you have an erection lasting four or more hours, immediately seek a HIGH FIVE