Jada Pinkett Smith told Howard Stern recently that she advises her kids to not get married as young as she did. When Stern countered that her marriage had worked out just fine, she admitted that it had, but it may be exceptional.
"It did work out, but let me tell you that it worked out in a way that I have a husband that is a gangsta partner. You gotta be strong. It takes work Howard."
Much has been said about the nature of Jada and Will Smith's marriage. Some say it is an open marriage, based on comments that Jada made on Oprah. She said that Will could go out with other women if he chose to. But her statement contained a caveat that most people missed.
"Here's the deal with that, Howard," she began. "You've got to trust who you're with. And at the end of the day, I'm not here to be anybody's watcher. I'm not his watcher. He's a grown man. Here's what I trust -- I trust that the man that Will is, is a man of integrity. So, he's got all the freedom in the world. As long as Will can look himself in the mirror and be okay, I'm good."
Jada Smith says that she and Will allow each other the freedom to do whatever they want, with the knowledge that neither of them actually ever will stray. That understanding is what holds their marriage together in mutual respect.
Still, Jada says that she knows that any human will notice other people.
Jada says Will tells her if he has a crush on anyone else. "You have to!" she exclaimed. "Because I'm going to know anyway."
Jada takes a realistic but enlightened approach to the idea of fidelity and attraction.
"I'm not the kind of woman that believes a man is not going to be attracted to other women," Jada exlpained. "I'm just not that girl. It's just not realistic. And just because your man is attracted to another woman, does not mean he doesn't love you. That's not what it means. And it doesn't mean he's going to act on it. If your man can't really see another woman's beauty, how the hell is he going to see yours?"
She sums up her belief this way:
"You have to be mature, but you have got to be human and you have got to be who you are."