Internet Marketer Diagnosis

    January 29, 2004

Thank you for stepping into my office. Let’s see. You’re at your computer now and probably have been for the last few hours, but you show no signs of fatigue, so that’s good. Well what are some of your symptoms?

You say that you easily get bored and usually take on more than one task at a time. In your job, you design websites, create products, and write ads. What about customer service? That’s your department too.

Have you thought about hiring someone else for some of the jobs? No. Oh, you would be bored again. Doing the same thing over and over again until you retire doesn’t appeal to you. That would make you a specialist though, a highly valued asset, someone who knows the ins and outs of a very specific field. Oh you say specialists only become college professors, get phased out by new technology, or lose touch with other fields that my cross-pollinate their own.

There are advantages to working for someone else you know. You don’t have to think, because you are told what to do. That really frees the rest of life up. Oh, really, you cannot expect to free all of your life up, after all everyone works at a job they hate at least some of the time. Not you? What do you say you do again?

What about your childhood, were you hyperactive? I thought so. They didn’t have Ritalin back then. That drug would have helped become just like everyone else. There would be none of this “being your own person.” You would have found a nice comfortable corner of society to fit into.

Okay, one possibility is that you haven’t grown up. Only children want to be a fireman, a police officer, and the President all at the same time. If you were mature you would accept your fate and that is that you can only choose one road and you must stick to it.

Then again, you may have delusions of grandeur. Stop quoting Da Vinci and Edison. There is no place for Renaissance people in this day and age. You only have to use 10% of your mind just like everyone else, so why not take the easy road.

It is also possible that you have ADD. We can put you on some drugs that will help you get your life in line. Who’s line? Why everyone else’s, of course? You do want to be like everyone else, don’t you? Let me tell you about some of the side effects first though.

So, you reject all of these. Well, take two cups of coffee and e-mail me in the morning, because you will probably be at your computer again. But other than that, I really can’t help you. You will never be normal, but then again no one is.

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Stephan Miller