By now most of us have heard the news that after ten years of marriage Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are heading towards a separation. The announcement shouldn't come as a total surprise, as there have been numerous rumors over the past couple years that Paltrow was not being true to the Coldplay frontman.
Paltrow let her fans and the world know via her website Goop that the couple was planning to split. She titled her announcement "Conscious Uncoupling."
It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.
So what exactly is "conscious uncoupling?" A fancy way to say divorce? A Hollywood style trial separation? Dr. Habib Sadeghi, a new age Psychologist, lays out some of the theory behind "conscious uncoupling." First, it's about "changing the concept of divorce." Divorce doesn't have to mean that you're a failure or that your marriage was a failure. Sadeghi wrote, "A conscious uncoupling is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing."
Sadeghi also believes that humans aren't meant to stay together forever. "We’re living three lifetimes compared to early humans, perhaps we need to redefine the construct. Social research suggests that because we’re living so long, most people will have two or three significant long-term relationships in their lifetime. Our biology and psychology aren’t set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades."
Call Paltrow and Martin's separation what you will: divorce, unconscious coupling, a break. It sounds like the result will still be exactly the same.
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