Quantcast

Guy Fieri, Take Your Child To Work Day, and Danny DeVito

Today's Funniest Tweets

Get the WebProNews Newsletter:
Guy Fieri, Take Your Child To Work Day, and Danny DeVito
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Happy National Pretzel Day? I didn’t realise that attempted Presidential assassins got rewarded with their own day(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wonder how many novels Stephen King wrote this morning.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPad ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

It’s “Take Your Child To Work” day. In Arizona, an erection or a box of tampons qualify.(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

As Obama slow-jammed the news on Fallon, I bet Gingrich slowly jammed a meatball sub down his throat while watching Guy Fieri.(image) 23 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My wife is pissed off at me for peeing in the shower. I didn’t mean to, sometimes it just happens while you’re shitting.(image) 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

NFL draft begins tonight. Low rumble you hear in Philadelphia is Eagles fans practicing their booing.(image) 2 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

BURGER KING GO CAGE FREE BY 2017! DRUNK HULK NO BELIEVE IN DISCRIMINATION! NO MATTER HOW AWFUL NIC CAGE IS!(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Why would Roger Goodell suspend the Pro Bowl? It’s the one game that has his beloved no contact of any kind.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If TLC’s really going to make a hologram Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes, they should also make a hologram Andre Rison’s house for it to burn down.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Bobby Brown sentenced to being Bobby Brown in DUI case. Experts say that’s punishment enough.(image) 12 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“HAHAHA! whoopsies.” — God making Danny DeVito(image) 14 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Today is Take Your Child to Work Day. Sadly, after Luke blew up the Death Star, I can no longer participate in this day.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

You don’t need to put something about wine in your internet bio, we can see that you’re white.(image) 9 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Guy Fieri, Take Your Child To Work Day, and Danny DeVito
Comments Off
Top Rated White Papers and Resources

Comments are closed.