Doyle Hardwick just wanted to check out Facebook without the over-the-shoulder prying of his dear wife Julie. So he boozed her up in the hopes that she'd eventually just go to bed. When that didn't work according to plan, he decided that it was a matter for the police.
According to the Tampa Bay Times, the 57-year-old Hardwick called 911 to report a looming wife.
Caller (CLR) "says him and his wife are sitting next to each other," the 911 transcript reads. "CLR is upset because she won't go to bed. Now they are bickering about who has been drinking. CLR has had 4 beers. Wife has had 8 beers. … CLR is upset because she wouldn't let him look at Facebook peacefully."
When the officers arrived, they said that both of the parties appeared calm, but it was pretty evident that booze was involved. Hardwick explained to the officers that he had made an arrangement with his wife, that if he gave her the beers, she would eventually go to sleep. Then, he would be free to do whatever he pleased - creep on Facebook most likely one of the top possibilities.
"I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do," Hardwick told the police.
Apparently, you can't enlist the law to make your wife go to bed. Because of this little spat, Hardwick was arrested and charged with "misuse of 911." This won't bet his first time facing this charge, apparently. A couple of years ago, he got into trouble for calling 911 to report that this neighbors were "defecating into vehicle fuel tanks."
People can be idiots when it comes to Facebook - both on the site itself (status updates and such) and surrounding the use of it (this case). In October of 2011, a man was charged with assault after he reportedly punched his wife in the face because she failed to like one of his statuses. People can also call 911 for idiotic reasons. Take for instance the drunk guy who called 911 to report that his iPhone wasn't working.
This story combines the best of both worlds, and for that, we salute you Doyle.
One last thing - that name. Doyle Hardwick, Doyle Hardwick...ah yes. Sounds a little bit like Doyle Hargraves from film Sling Blade. I imagine that Mr. Hardwick's initial dispute with his wife went down like this (some NSFW language):[h/t Digital Life]