Groupon’s Insane Kidz Club Is Back [Video]

“Groupon is no stranger to what kids desire,” Groupon claims in its latest blog post about the return of the Groupon Kidz Club. First, for a bit of background, let’s review what the ...
Groupon’s Insane Kidz Club Is Back [Video]
Written by Chris Crum
  • “Groupon is no stranger to what kids desire,” Groupon claims in its latest blog post about the return of the Groupon Kidz Club.

    First, for a bit of background, let’s review what the Groupon Kidz Club consists of – one character who doesn’t love his parents, one that hates stray dogs, one that simply carries around a dinner roll, one, who is just some guy the kids “took in” after finding him on the beach with no recollection of his identity, and one, who is an escaped swarm of bees who are “attracted to the smell of school kids who like Groupon,” and can form the shape of sharp stabbing weapons.

    I’m not making this up. Here’s our earlier post about it.

    Yes, the Groupon Kidz are back. This time, with a video and a new member:

    In the episode, Pyles, previously described as “piles of stuff,” is kidnapped by the Boring Brigade, and taken “underneath Mount Jerk.” The kids decide that they can use a Groupon to get to Mount Jerk.

    Mount Jerk

    Roll, continues to hold his roll in each scene he is in:

    Roll

    Roll

    Roll

    This guy makes a dial-up modem sound when he springs into action, which most kids these days probably won’t recognize:

    Emale

    And let’s not forget the aptly named Glasses, who is always wearing her glasses, provides such mermorable quotes as “I can’t even see him, and I’m wearing glasses.”

    Glasses

    There’s also memorable quotes like, “It’s OK Swarmy. We all know that Pyles is your favorite member of the Kidz Club, and we know how much you love eating the pudding from his body,” and “Give it to Fop Top. He’s the one who can read.”

    Going into the episode, I did not realize Pyles’ body consisted of pudding, but we eventually learn that the kids made him and filled him with pudding. That explains it.

    The kidz ultimately vaporize the Boring Brigade, and a new character named Question Mark (he has a question mark for a head) is introduced as the new kid (with a decidedly adult voice).

    Question Mark

    If none of this makes a great deal of sense to you, you’re not alone. I assume that is the point, but I’m also trying to decipher why Groupon would want to make such a point.

    Groupon explains the new character: “We at Groupon are just so, so proud to unveil our new character here for you today. The Kidz Club has been a beloved name in child’s advertainment for more than 30 years. An entire generation has grown up knowing, loving, and trusting the Groupon Kidz Club, so adding a new member to the team was no small decision. After numerous months of planning, testing, talking to random children, and sleeping and eating, we are happy to present the newest member of the club … QUESTION MARK!”

    According to Groupon, Question Mark is the “coolest kid on the block,” he loves puppies, hates hats that have been shaped to fit his head, loves soccer, is going to school full-time, and has had 12 birthdays.

    “He definitely loves you,” Groupon assures us.

    Groupon has printable coloring sheets here.

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