Friday the 13th: Jason Voorhees’ Best Kills
I love horror movies. My friends don’t get it, for the most part, mostly because they are endlessly frustrated with the silly girls in them who get themselves into stupid situations (“Power’s out? No problem, I’ll just go down to the basement in platform heels armed with a candle and check it out”). But something about the horror genre appeals to me, and always has. The hubs and I especially love 80’s slasher flicks, and “Friday the 13th” is way up on the list. We have a literal ton of stuff around the house bearing Jason’s face: artwork (some of which was done by me), memorabilia, posters, films, etc. And every time a Friday falls on the 13th of the month, we have ourselves a movie marathon after the kiddo goes to bed.
I think part of the reason Jason is so beloved is that he is a character you can feel sorry for. He may be a cold-blooded killer, but he started out as a mama’s boy with a below-average I.Q. who picked the wrong day to drown. For the record, I’d probably be pretty pissed, too, if negligent camp counselors let me die and then beheaded my mother.
So here’s to you, Jason: 5 of the best kills of your murderous career. Hint: don’t scroll down if you don’t want to see gross stuff.
The Crotch Shot
This guy thought walking on his hands would endear him to his girlfriend. Jason put a stop to that with a swift chop between the legs and disemboweled him. The lesson? You might get off the hook if you’re a virgin, but 80’s killers don’t take kindly to showoffs.
The Ol’ Sleeping Bag Against A Tree
Although I’m not a big fan of “Jason X”, this kill was creative and yet so simple I’m surprised he hadn’t done it before he was shot into space.
The Frozen Face Trick
Again, “Jason X” isn’t the strongest film in the series by a wide margin, but I couldn’t leave this kill out. Pretty inventive use of liquid nitrogen for a mentally handicapped guy. He makes good use of a metal table to smash her frozen face on afterwards, too.
Two Birds With One Stone
Jason got creative here, finding a way to kill two counselors with one spear while they were engaged in amorous activity. I think Sondra’s face says it all here.
Jason Uses Water Weaponry
Part III, which was in 3D, had several good kills, but this one stands out because of how the director got the speargun shot: he had it rigged on a wire across the water, so when Jason shot it at Vera, it zipped down the line to its target…the camera.
It should be noted that I’d give Mrs. Voorhees an honorable mention for her very memorable kills in part 1 (including Kevin Bacon!).