A Florida man, legal name Phuc Kieu, has been charged with robbery, kidnapping, and sexual battery after attempting to rape another man in a Gainesville parking lot.

58-year-old Phuc X. Kieu allegedly waited for the victim to finish making a withdrawal from an ATM before attacking him and dragging him into his car – where Kieu had been busy watching porn.

If you’ve taken the time to carefully repeat the accused name out loud and think this is totally fake here’s what the official police report has to say:

On the above date and time the victim conducted a withdrawal from the walk-up ATM and when done walked north through the bank parking lot. The defendant parked his vehicle, laid the driver’s seat all the way back and proceeded to watch homosexual pornography on a portable DVD player. As the victim passed the driver’s side of the vehicle, the defendant exited, grabbed the victim, punched him in the mouth and grabbed the bag containing the money …

The defendant then pulled the victim into the driver’s side seat, straddled the top of him, and began to pull of his shirt, belt, and pants.

The victim was eventually able to fight off Kieu, who chased him through the parking lot. Back to the report:

The defendant then grabbed the backpack of the victim, attempting to pull it off … The victim the ran across the street to a nearby shopping center yelling “rapist”.

The arresting officer says he observed Kieu running across the parking lot and detained him.

Kieu

According to WESH Orlando, Kieu is a nail specialist.