Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
For those who missed the Republican debate, there's a great piece about it in the Book of Revelation.
Ferris Bueller and Madonna at the Superbowl? Did NBC get that Delorean up to 85?
It's almost noon. Does anyone have an update if Liam Neeson has punched a wolf right in the forehead yet?
Up until about a week ago I thought The Grey was a Civil War movie. I wish they'd just called it "Liam Neeson punches all the wolves".
Happy National Chocolate Cake Day? The other types of cake are feeling left out. I've just seen an emotional wedding cake. It was in tiers.
ESPN execs somewhere: "Quick, how do we tie Tim Tebow to this Peyton Manning storyline?"
"God, when will they stop talking about all of this Peyton Manning stuff?" -- Brett Favre
BET GINGRICH'S CURRENT MISTRESS WONDER WHEN SHE GET PROMOTE TO WIFE!
The sound my computer makes when it's logging off on a Friday is better than anything they play in the radio.
Gary Busey speaks in Wingdings font.
This real estate agent is one handsome guy. No homeowner.
The cutest things are pug puppies, mixed-race babies, and hipsters working out at the gym.
"Let's get this show on the road!" --suicidal thespian deer
The sentence "I never said he licked my asshole" has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word.
Every time you scoop Ben & Jerry's out of the container and into a bowl, God has a little chuckle.